Chapter 21 - Those three words

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Lucas had come over with food to try and cheer me up after I called him crying, having another breakdown of the incident that I had tried to push out of my thoughts for hours. He had never been far away and came instantly when I asked him to. It had been two more days since we were standing in the courtroom and Justin had been calling nonstop. His messages were making my phone vibrate unstoppably and if anyone other than him tried to reach me, there was a good chance that I would miss their call.

Because I was avoiding my phone the best I could.

I hadn't eaten what I had been served, not because I didn't like the food (Lucas had brought my favourite pizza) but because whenever I tried to eat, the food would constantly get brought back up again. It was like I had the disgusting memory of getting humiliated in front of the entire courtroom was stuck in my throat and didn't accept anything else to be pushed down. Perhaps water, at certain times only.

"You have to eat," Lucas had been trying to tell me multiple times but I ignored him and eventually he gave up. Instead, he disappeared and let me sit by myself in my bed. It was those moments I needed, the quiet ones were my thoughts could take over. As long as I could come up with something else to think about, of course. Which was a hard task, somehow it always ended up going back to the same subject.

Justin.

I hated the fact that he had been on my mind nonstop since I last told him that I hated him. Since I last told him that I never wanted to see him again. That was all lies and I think somewhere deep down, he knew that. Well, he must know of it since he continued to blow up my phone nonstop since two days back.

I stared at my phone as the messages kept popping up, seeing Justin's name repeatedly light up my phone. The fact that his name alone could make me feel like a thousand knives were stabbing me throughout my entire body were scaring me. He had way too much of an effect and I hated that I had let myself fall into this so quickly. I really should have known better.

Justin: Where were you today? I missed you in the office.

I barely got the time to read the message properly before the next one fell in, which only further made me shut my eyes as I felt the pain enter my body again. Seeing his name was terrifying and only put me off the mood.

Justin: I messed up, I know. I'm sorry.

My eyes were suddenly watery and I forced myself to blink the tears away, not wanting to cry over a stupid boy. My mother taught me better than that. When I looked up from the phone, I noticed that Lucas was standing and staring at me from the doorway. His eyes were understanding and I was already mentally thanking him for his support.

"Is that him again?" He asked and I nodded quietly, not needing to say another word. I didn't need to show him the messages, he already knew what had been written, "You do get that he's sorry, right? I mean, the man's been trying to call you at least fifty times the past few hours. If that doesn't prove that he cares then I don't know what will-"

I felt the need to interrupt him and remind him of the actual situation, "He hurt me."

"Yeah, so what? He fucked up," For a second, I thought I would see him laugh but he held it back and I gave him a glare to make sure he knew that he should appreciate his acting skills. Lucas was an understanding person but sometimes, he took it too far to try and be on everybody's sides. All I needed was for him to agree with me fully for once, "At least he knows about it. Many men wouldn't even know what they've done wrong in this situation."

"He's only sorry because he got caught."

"How would you know? You haven't talked to him since you found out?" Once again, I hated him for being so smart with his words. He always twisted and turned mine until they made me feel stupid, putting my words into my mouth and changing the perspective on them. Sometimes I wondered why he had never thought of becoming a lawyer, he's great at convincing and I know he would be an amazing one. "You should call him," He shrugged, "At least hear him out."

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