I Met Him On Tumblr

Ultraviolence [10]

 I Met Him On Tumblr  

✥ Chapter 10: Ultraviolence ✥

>> "“He hit me and it felt like a kiss. I can hear violins, violins. Give me all of that ultraviolence. He used to call me poison, like I was poison ivy. I could have died right there ‘cause he was right beside me.” Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey

 

 ◂◂◂

I didn’t get much sleep that night. I kept tossing and turning and as much as I wanted to get Jason out of my mind, I couldn’t. That was the pathetic truth. The next day, I walked downstairs and made myself some coffee, sitting on the kitchen bench and trying to get my mind off Jason. I should be worrying about meeting Carson’s parents.

            “You look like shit,” Matthew told me, walking into the kitchen.

            “Thanks,” I replied, sarcastically.

            “You do.”

            I laughed, rolling my eyes, “I know.”

            I spoke to Hope most of the day and when it was late enough, I went for a shower and started getting ready to go to Carson’s house to meet him family. Talking to Hope kept my mind off Jason not wanting to talk to me anymore and how I was going to be meeting Carson’s family way too soon. I wished I had Jason to talk to but I didn’t and I didn’t even know why.

            I went for a shower and got dressed in what I thought was appropriate attire - a pair of jeans, a cute top and some ballet flats. I then straightened my hair and put enough make-up on for me to feel a little confident. The doorbell ringing told me that Carson was there to pick me up. I grabbed my phone and checked my messages, a small part of me hoping that Jason had texted me but of course, he hadn’t.

            I opened the front door and Carson greeted me with a kiss. “Hello Beautiful.”

            I smiled. “Hi.”

            “How’s it going?”

            “I am so nervous!”

            “It’s going to be fine.”

            “They’re going to hate me!” I groaned.

            “I’m sure they’re going to love you… maybe more than I love you.” There it was again – the dreaded L word. I hoped one day, one day soon, that I’d be able to say that I loved him.

            We didn’t talk much in the drive to his house, when we got there my heart was thumping loudly in my chest and I wanted to run away. I was going to throw up. “I can’t do this!” I repeated.