Some people merely adopt darkness, but she was born into it.
Hiding every gloomy secret, covering all the lies, she walks through the life devoid of all emotions.
They all labeled her, those silly people, if only they had stop for a moment and obs...
❝I think she's very lonely. Lonelier than she lets on.
Maybe lonelier than she even realizes❞
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Staring at the ceiling, I waited for the sleep to come by like a lost friend, who promised me to return one day, before disappearing. The night seemed endless as I laid there in the silence piercing my soul, emotionless yet feeling every emotion.
The dim rays of moonlight quietly slunk in from the window, lightening the dark room with it's faint shine. Comforting my shattered soul, accompanying my lonely heart and silencing my screaming thoughts.
My mind tried to manipulate me, trying to make me think about all the things, I wanted to forget, whispering all those wicked secrets to my heart as it tried to hold on.
Distraction. I wanted a distraction, but all I got was that numb feeling creeping my soul and emptiness mocking my heart.
Those familiar images flashed in front of my eyes and memories clouded my head. Those words echoing hurt me, it's like someone had recorded them and played it on repeat in my mind.
"It's your fault. I hate you"
"You destroy everything"
Her words, those screams were crystal clear, ringing in my ear, almost deafening me. Gulping down that tight lump in my throat, I rolled over to the other side, in my bed, which suddenly felt so uncomfortable, so cold.
My fingers dug into my skin as I tightly curled my hand into fist, emotions running through my veins, making me hard to think straight. What was it? Rage?Guilt? Sorrow? Or just frustration, for not being able to figure out what it was.
Taking deep breaths, slowly, calmly, I told myself to control.
Turning my head hopelessly, I looked at Maria sleeping soundless in the bed just beside mine, a clear sheet of peace visible on her face. Her mouth slightly parted, letting that drool sneak out, trailing on her chin and falling on that pillow, she had her face squished on.
I sighed, hugging my pillow close to me, silently telling it all my secrets, thanking it for being there with me.
Those mementos played twisted game with my soul as my lips quivered, those tears that never got the chance to bleed, filled my eyes. Stubborn, I refused to let them set free, maybe that's why my heart felt so heavy.
I wanted to curse myself to death, beat me, for that I couldn't help, but feel that emptiness eating me. God. I missed her. So fucking bad.
But, just thinking about her would bring all those bad memories back and made me realize why I didn't want to remember them, in the first place.
Tiredly, I closed my eyes, pushing those tormented souvenirs and thoughts back inside and blocked out all of her hateful words and those wicked voices as I laid there in the darkness, waiting for their end to come, before mine.
