My Life and Other Sad Things

he'll call.

he'll call.

no you know he wont.

actually i dont know that.

he hasnt before. he won't again.

he'll call.

your desperate. your insecure. hes not gonna call.

i asked him to call. if he doesnt itll be for a good reason.

yeah, he'd rather hang out with his friends than with you. who could blame him? his friends are real to him. he can see them. he can touch them. theres no reason he'd want to talk to you when he can talk to them.

shut up! he'll call.

he'll hang out with his friends laughing, smiling, calling them 'my dudes', until he forgets all about you and by the time he remembers he'll check the time and realize he's too tired to call. Or maybe he does know that its getting late but choses not to stop the conversation anyway. sure hell text and maybe call just to fall asleep on the phone with you but you know that he wont actually have time to talk because you are not his priority anymore. you arent real anymore.  and he is always going to chose those who are around him because he connects to people and lives in the moment. that is who he is. so be ready because if he has something better offered to him than a phone call, hes going to chose that instead and not think twice about it. and then he'll fall asleep comfortably while you stay up waiting and waiting  for someone who's never going to show. and he might shoot you a text but only after hours of you waiting for that phone call and since you are clingy and obsessive, it'll feel a lot longer than that. and that jealously and loneliness will creep into your heart like weeds. you'll feel stupid, unimportant, and useless. youll stay up unable to sleep worrying and steaming wondering why he didnt call you and why didnt he chose you. why is it always his friends or his family or his schoolwork. why cant he ever chose you above anything or anyome else. why do you never wanted or needed and that ugly feeling won't go away. itll never leave and you will never be satified. you'll always feel completely alone and forgotten. you'll see, im always right.