Almost Lover (Harry Styles) - Book 1

Chapter 55: To Do or Not to Do That is the Question.

-Ava's POV-

I sit in the dressing room, my knee bobbing up and down in nervousness as I hear the boys start their last song of the night.

Lou just stepped out to take a call from Tom, so I'm now just alone with my thoughts and no one to distract me.

I groan, running my shaking hands through my hair. What the hell are you going to do Ava?!

It's not that I don't want to take that next step with Harry, but I know how it's going to turn out and I think I've faced enough mortification for one day.

For many days actually.

I can't even think about the discussion we had without feeling sick to my stomach in embarrassment. I'm such an unbelievable mess right now, biting my nails and tugging at my hair.

I get up and start pacing the room, trying to decide what to do.

I can just tell him I'm not ready. Yeah. I'm not ready. He'll believe that. Right? Not if he is looking at your face when you tell him Ava! Darn him and his stupid ability to read me like a book!! Ugh!

Maybe I should just do it. Get it over with.

If it doesn't happen now it will at some point anyway if we stay together. And if it's a deal breaker, then I would rather face that now then down the road when I'm even more attached. And then I would know for sure if it really is me that's the problem. I mean if Harry Styles can't get you off, then who can right?

Oh god! What am I going to do?

I need to decide now, cause if I go back to the hotel with him, my choice will be taken away. I can barely function when he has his hands on me. Good lord, I can barely function just thinking about his hands on me. Wow, I'm in deep already.

I jump when the dressing room door swings open, the boys coming in laughing and covered in sweat. Ick. Well, okay, maybe not ick.

"You alright?" Zayn asks, seeing the state I'm in.

"Huh? Yeah. Of course. I'm fine. Great! Why wouldn't I be?"

"Okay." He chuckles.

Harry pushes past him and walks right up to me. I know I have a look of fear across my face. I'm about ready to swallow my tongue, if that's even possible.

"You okay love?" He smiles down at me, beads of perspiration on his forehead and his hair slightly damp. Oh my god, my heart is already beating like a freaking race horse and all he's done is look at me.

Before I can answer, Paul interrupts to tell everyone to head to the cars now being there is already a crowd outside around back and it's only getting bigger.

Everyone nods and starts to head out the door, but I stay back, planning to just ride with Lou like I always do. I don't have to worry about the fans with her. And they scare the crap out of me sometimes when I'm with the boys. Plus I don't want any more rumors flying around then there already is.

"Ava come on." Harry turns around, holding his hand out to me.

I shake my head, "I think I'll just ride with Lou and avoid the craziness."

"Just come with me please?" He gives me his puppy dog eyes, and I cave immediately.

He smiles as I take his hand and lets one of the stage hands we pass in the hallway know to tell Lou we already left.

He pulls me through the corridor quickly, trying to catch up to the other boys. I have to just about jog to keep up with his long strides. They are waiting for us right inside the main door, and I can hear the screaming outside already.