Almost Lover (Harry Styles) - Book 1

Chapter 90: I can move on.

-Ava's POV-

"Just the boxes in this room is all that's left." I point around the room, indicating what's left to be taken out.

"And you have the address everything needs to be delivered to?"

"Yes, here." I answer, handing him a note with the address listed on it.

He nods and picks up a few more boxes before walking out of the apartment.

I take a look around, feeling like I'm closing a very bittersweet chapter in my life. I wish Poppy could of been here but I couldn't let her cancel her studies abroad. I'm not falling off the face of the earth, just moving. I will see her in just a few weeks when she comes to visit me.

"I think this is everything Miss."

I turn around and nod, "Thank you so much. I know this was all very short notice and I really appreciate you helping me out."

"Not a problem." He smiles at me and takes the last two boxes with him as he leaves, closing the door behind him.

I check the time, realizing I need to leave now if I'm going to catch my flight.

I grab my bags, the last things containing any part of my life here in London, and head out the door. I take one last look back, smiling at the memories that come to mind. There were a lot of good ones in this apartment.

I close the door behind me and lock it before rolling my bags down the hall towards the elevator.

I make it about halfway down when the elevator doors open, revealing someone I had hoped to avoid by leaving so quickly.

Harry.

I knew he would follow me. I guess I just didn't expect it to be so quickly.

He walks towards me hesitantly, and I fight the urge to turn and run back into the apartment so I don't have to face him. But I can't move. I'm frozen as I watch him walk up and stop in front of me.

We stand there just staring at one another. The tension between us seems suffocating and I find it hard to breathe.

"You're.... You're moving." He finally speaks, his voice so low I can barely hear him.

I don't answer as he stares into my eyes. He's trying to read me, I can tell. But I can see by the disappointment in his face that he can't. My face is expressionless because that's exactly what I feel. Nothing.

"Is there anything I could say or do to change this? Just tell me and I'll do it. I go with you. I'll fucking leave all this behind and go with you if I have to. I know I messed up.. in the most horrible way I ever could. I know you shouldn't forgive me. Shouldn't even be asking you to. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve your love. But I swear I will try every single moment of every single day to try to be the kind of man that does. I swear it. I love you Ava...I'm in love with you."

His eyes plead with me as he grabs my hand, holding it tightly in his. "I can't lose what we had Av."

"Don't call me that." I finally speak. I can see the hurt in his eyes from my words but frankly I don't give a shit.

"I'm so sorry." His voice breaks. "Please just... I.... Where you going? What are you going to do now?"

I take a deep breath, before telling him the honest to god truth, "I'm going to keep myself busy. Every moment that I'm awake I'm going to keep myself busy. Cause I know if I stop for one second I'll think of you. And at first I'll smile. I'll think of your eyes and and your smile and all the reasons you made me laugh. But then I'll think of all the reasons you make me cry, and I'll have to feel this pain all over again. So I'll tell myself every day that I'm over you. And one day, I'll actually mean it."

His eyes lose all their life as he takes in my words, "I can't lose this... can't lose what we had. Please Av.... Please..."

"But what did we even have really? We were never nothing. But we were also never quite something. We were always just... almost."

"Maybe to you." He looks down at his feet, and I can tell he's trying to hold back his tears. "The thought of not talking to you every day... It kills me."

"Me too."

"The thought of not waking up next to you..." His voice fades off as he looks into my eyes.

"I know." I feel a tear slide down my cheek and Harry reaches his hand up, wiping it away with his thumb.

"I can't believe I ruined this. I'll never forgive myself." He says quietly. "Please change your mind. Please Ava."

"I can't." I shake my head at him.

"Can you do something for me?" He asks.

"If you'll do something for me."

He nods, before placing both his hands on my cheeks, and pulling me towards him.

"Kiss me." He says before pressing his lips against mine, softly and slowly kissing me goodbye.

We pull apart and he looks in my eyes, waiting for me to tell him my request.

"Don't follow me again. Delete my number from your phone so you can't call or text me." I say, knowing how harsh it sounds.

"Please don't... Don't ask me to do that." He begs, wanting to hold onto any shred of what's left of us.

But there isn't anything left. Sometimes you have to just erase the messages, delete the numbers, and move on. I don't have to forget what he meant to me, I just need to accept that he isn't that person anymore.

"You know I have to." I finally pull my hand out of his and pick up my bags.

He doesn't move so I walk around him, heading towards the elevator. I step inside, hitting the button for the ground floor before looking up.

I wish I hadn't, seeing Harry looking completely broken and alone as he stands in the hallway, watching me go.

"I love you Ava McCain." He calls out just as the doors close.

I see my reflection in the doors as I ride down. I don't even recognize myself as I wonder how someone can feel this much pain without physical harm.

Harry changed me so much that I can never regret him.

But I can move on.

Because that's exactly what I need to do.

The End

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A/N: I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who read this book. It means so much to me that you took time out of your day to follow Ava and Harry's story.

But it isn't over yet! There will be a sequel!! And I'll be posting the first chapter soon. :)

I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this book and what they would like to see happen in the future for Hava.

Thanks again!

Love you all xxx

-Ash