Almost Lover (Harry Styles) - Book 1

Chapter 70: "I am afraid."

-Ava's POV-

"These waffles are the best ever!" Niall mumbles as he stuffs his mouth full, syrup dripping down his chin.

"Mmmmhmmm!" I agree, grabbing a napkin and wiping his chin.

"Thanks!" He laughs, taking a big swig of orange juice.

"The amount of food you two can put away is mad." Harry shakes his head at us and leans back in the booth next to me.

"You should try it!" I push my plate towards him but he pushes it back.

"No thanks love."

"You're missing out bro!" Niall laughs as he gets up, "This rounds on me. I'll go pay up then we need to head to sound check."

Once we're alone Harry drapes his arm across my shoulders.

"Knock knock."

"No no." I laugh, making him pout at me.

"Knock knock." He smiles at me, knowing I can't resist when he shows me his dimples.

"Who's there?" I roll my eyes at him.

"Olive."

"Olive who?"

"Olive you." He smiles at me and leans in, giving me a soft kiss.

"So smooth." I laugh as he pulls away.

"Well the ladies do dig me."

"Ladies as in fourteen year old girls?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Yes. And some twenty six year old women." He smirks.

"Stop your snogging and let's go!" Niall grabs Harry's arm and pulls him out of the booth.

I slide out after him and Harry takes my hand as we walk outside.

"You'll come to sound check yeah?" Harry asks as we get in the car and head towards the venue.

"Yeah, I'll just grab Lou when we get there and I'll see you guys out there."

"Ace."

Security waves us through the gates and we say goodbye inside, the boys heading towards the stage and me towards the dressing rooms.

"Wanna go to sound check?" I ask Lou as I peek my head inside the room.

"Sure!" She sets down her tools and follows me out into the hallway.

"So have you recovered from yesterday?" She asks.

"Yes. Thankfully."

"Harry was at his wits end about it. Just a day away from you and he turns into a total wanker!"

"So I heard." I laugh, recalling Louie going on and on about how ridiculous Harry was being yesterday.

"He asked me to talk to you about the contract."

"Of course he did." I sigh at we take our usual seats to the right of the stage.

Several girls scream at us when we're spotted so we wave at them and yell hi.

"He said you were thinking about taking over some charity work of your grandmothers."

"Yeah. I just want something of my own ya know? I can't live all my life following someone else around while their living out their dream. I need a dream of my own."

"I totally understand that, but is taking over for your grandmother really your dream or just another obligation you feel like you need to do to appease your family?"

I shake my head, "I don't care about my family."

"No, but you do care about your grandmother." Lou points out, "Just make sure that whatever you decide is really for you. Not for your grandmother or for Harry."

"I'll try. There's just a lot of pressure right now on both sides. Mostly Harry though."

"Why do you hold yourself back from him?"

"What?" I ask, confused.

"When you're with him I can tell you're holding back, like you're afraid to really let him in."

"I am afraid."

"Why? Harry's a great guy. He won't hurt you."

"I know he won't."

"Then why?" She presses me.

"Cause I'm in love with him." I blurt out. I slap my hand over my mouth, shocked I just said that out loud.

Lou's mouth falls open in shock, "Have you told him that?"

"No." I answer quietly.

"Why?" She asks, as the band comes out onto the stage and starts to tune their instruments.

"I guess saying it out loud to him makes it real. And then I'll have to admit to myself how much I want to be with him and depend on him and I can't do that."

"Cause that has went badly for you in the past?"

"Very badly. I can't go through that kind of pain again. And I know it would be even worse with Harry. The feelings are just so much more... I don't know. Just more."

The screams from the crowd drown out Lou's response to me as the boys run out onto the stage.

"Hiiii! Thanks for coming to our sound check party today. How is everyone? You good?" Harry's asks, getting screams and shrieks in response.

"We are going to sing a few songs then we'll answer some of your questions. So what should we sing first?" Liam asks.

Multiple song names are screamed out as Harry looks over towards us, sticking out his tongue and waving. God he's cute.

We wave back as Lou leans over to me, "Just remember his heart isn't the only one that's going to break if you decide to leave."

I sit back in my chair, knowing she's referring to my heart.

I'm so torn on what I should do.

Do I leave Harry to start my own life or do I stay and live his life with him?

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