Don't let me go ( Destiel AU )

Chapter 13

Castiel's POV

Dean left. I can't believe i won't be seeing him at school anymore. I miss his hugs and his hand in mine. I miss his lips and the way he would look at me when he didn't think i was looking. It's only been a few days but it feels like years. I didn't go back home because i have no home anymore. I got a job, brought a sleeping bag and decided to spend the nights at the park. I don't want to be around people anymore. I hurt everyone i love. Gabriel, because Michael didn't accept me. My ex, because i got caught with him. And now Dean, because his dad is disgusted by me. Why can't people let us be happy?! I uderstand why he left, i saw the fear in his eyes when his dad shouted at him. He said he was proud of him and now, well now he hates him. Because of me. I can't do anything right.

I spend the rest of the weekend sitting at the park. I go through my bag that Dean left for me outside his house. He put in my clothes, a picture of us and a necklace. It's the necklace that i always see Dean wearing. I can't stop crying now, i can't live without him. What's the point?

Dean's POV

We help dad take down the rest of the vampires and it makes me feel a bit better when i cut the head off the vampire who i saw at school. But it doesn't fill the hole that has been growing in my stomach. Only Cas can fill it. Dad doesn't talk much. He said he found a case three states over and that we'll be staying in a motel 5 hours away from the town we lived in the past month. 5 hours away from Cas.

Me and Sammy get to share a room. We're both quiet untill i hear Sammy sobbing.

"I'm sorry Sammy, this is all my fault."

"No it's not, we would have moved even if dad didn't know about you and Cas. I was so stupid believing we can actually stay in one place where i can have a life. A normal life away from monsters."

I feel sorry for him, i didn't want to drag him into a world of monsters and creatures that want to rip your throat out. He deserves to go to school and have a girlfriend, like everyone else.

"Hey Sammy, what if we left?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what if we just walked away? Away from the family business, from dad. We could catch a bus back and start again."

"But wouldn't dad find us? He will get very angry".

"Then we'll just have to make sure he doesn't find us."

He's quiet for a moment.

"Right now, i'll do anything to go back to Jess. I love her, Dean".

"I know Sammy, i love Cas and i know how you feel. That's why, for once, we can't do what dad tells us to do. I'm tired of this, i just want Cas". I don't realise it but i'm crying now. I miss Cas too much, what was i thinking? How could i ever leave him? He's got nowhere to go now because i was too afraid to stand up to my own father. Well i'm not now.

I grab my bag and see that i have enough money for two tickets. I get some food from the fridge and a couple of beers and me and Sammy leave the crappy motel room as quietly as we can. It's already dark and the bus won't be coming for at least 15 minutes.

The bus finally comes and we get on, there's barely anyone inside so we sit at the back in silence. Both thinking of the people we love. I had to make a choice, it was either dad or Cas. I chose Cas. Dad will eventually realise how strong my feelings for Cas are, and if he doesn't then it's not my problem.

It took us 5 hours by car to get here so i'm hoping to get there in the morning. I had to leave my phone at the motel so dad wouldn't track us, he's still gonna try to find us but as soon as we find Cas and Jess, we're all moving out somewhere where dad can't find us. Sammy already talked to Jess who said she ran away from many foster families so it shouldn' be a problem. I hope Cas is okay.

Castiel's POV

I send Dean about 20 messages and called him a few times, he ignored all of them. Maybe he didn't really love me. I was such a fool to think that someone can love someone as broken as me. I look at my wrist and take off the bloody bandages that have been covering the cuts i made. I look at them, tempting to do more, one last cut to end it all. But something tells me to wait untill the morning. I wrap my wrist in a clean bandage and lay in my sleeping bag. I'd do anything to have Dean lay next to me again. I smile at the thought of Dean but it slowly fades as i remeber the ignored messages and missed calls. He doesn't love me. He never did. I cry myself to sleep and once more hope to never wake up again.

~Morning~

Dean's POV

"Dean wake up". I feel Sammy shaking me and open my eyes. The bus has stopped and i look around the familiar surroundings. We're not too far from school, but school doesn't start in 2 hours.

"I'm gonna go find Jess, where should we meet?"

"School gates, i'll go find Cas. Be quick, dad is provably awake by now."

He nods and we both run out of the bus in different directions. I run straight to the park. Where else could he be? I run for what seems like hours. My legs aching and my whole body hurting. I catch my breath as i stop and look around the park. I walk over to the pond and see someone in a sleeping bag not far from the bench where i last found Cas. I look at the person sleeping and my heart skips a beat when i realise it's him. I found him. I gently shake him and he wakes up immediatly.

"D-Dean?"

"Hey baby, i missed you."

I hug him and only then realise just how much i really missed him, his small arms wrapped around my body and his lips on mine. A million fireworks explode when his lips touch mine.

"But how are you here?"

"We don't have much time, me and Sammy ran away while dad was asleep so he will be coming here to find us, we have to leave now."

"Oh, do you want me to come with you?"

"What kind of question is this? I came here to find you so we can run away together, so that we can be happy again."

"So...you still love me?"

"Of course i still love you, i always did and always will. I love you with my whole heart, i'd do anything for you."

He didn't think i loved him? I can't stop loving him.

"Come on, we gotta go."

I grab his hand and we run to the school gates. I hope Sammy found Jess.

We ge to school and i see Sammy making out with Jess. How cute. They spot us and stop, both blushing.

"So now you know what it's like to get caught, Sammy."

He smiles a bit and a bus pull up next to us.

"Let's go". I pull Cas towards the bus.

"Where does it go?"

"Who cares, anywhere is safer than here right now."

We all get on and have enough money for the tickets, we'll have to get a job and pay taxes....i feel so grown up...so responsible. I'll just make Cas deal with money, he's better at maths than i am. I hold Cas's hand and everything feels perfect again, the hole in my stomach is now gone and Sammy seems a lot happier too. I look at the big window at the back and see an impala driving behind us. Oh no.

"Everyone get down" I whisper loud enough for them to hear. We all get down and wait for the car to pass us.

"Do you think he saw us?" Sammy asks.

"I hope not." I can't let him take Cas away from me again. I won't let him go this time.