24. Torn

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Shriya tickled Arihan and he laughed without moving. A thunder rumbled in the sky and Arihan was frightened.

He caught Shriya's hand and started crying.

Shriya took Arihan in her arms and said " It's nothing baby. You are a strong boy and nothing in the world can harm you" and was trying to calm him down.

Arihan was frightened and refused to leave her hand.

Shriya sang and lullaby and put him to sleep. After he was deep asleep she decided to go and check on others.

As she left Arihan's hand he murmured in sleep "amma" with lines of fear on his forehead.

Shriya felt a knot in her stomach. For once she thought if he could be her duggu. She pushed the logic less irrelevant thought from her mind.

She entered into the hall from her room to realise it was dark. The broad window pane was moving erratically due to heavy wind.

She went to close it and saw Lucky, Serah and Aadhik having dinner near the outhouse. She wanted to go and join them when she heard Happy Birthday music being played.

She turned towards the door to look at Raghav who stood near the door. His eyes were swollen and he looked miserable. He walked towards her.

She was tired to fighting with him. She was tired of fighting with herself when he was around.

She sighed and didn't utter a word. He understood that she wouldn't say a word but she would want him to leave.

Raghav was helpless he wanted to stay but he knew his presence was hurting her. After gathering a lot of courage he spoke " Sweetu! Why did things go so miserable between us?"

Those words brought tears in Shriya's eyes. Ever since they met again in London, this was the first time she felt that he was not Advocate Raghav Reddy but her Feetu. Something about the way he spoke that sentence brought back the image of an introvert young boy who seemed lost and stepped into a new school in a new city.

She shut her eyes and his words "If victory had a human form it would be like you" rang in her ears. She remembered the face of a mesmerized boy who looked awed by Vidhan Soudha. She remembered all the times he cheered for her in a basketball match. She didn't want to come back to reality. She wanted to stay there and have that simple and happy life.

Raghav looked at Shriya who was smiling with closed eyes. This was the first time she smiled with such bliss, ever since he met her again. He did not want that smile to fade away. So he kept staring at her.

Shriya opened her eyes realising that past cannot be changed nor those happy times could be brought back.

Shriya calmly answered "Things went miserable because of our own mistakes Raghav".

She knew the pain of loosing the child and feeling miserable alone. She knew the pain of separation. She did not want Raghav to go through it alone. She saw the same pain she bore all these years in his eyes.

She continued "Life has been very harsh Raghav! When I first realised that I was carrying a child within me, I did not know how to react. All the while after the prom night I was drowning in my own guilt. I thought I did not deserve to live"

Raghav covered Shriya's mouth on that statement.

"Sweetu! How could you think that way?" he said trying to control his agony.

Shriya moved away and continued "No Raghav! I have fought enough with my own mind. I was stuck between cursing myself for the mistake and not having the courage to label my innocent child a mistake. Destiny played it's role and saved my child from being called dirty names which I could never tolerate. He is blessed and his destiny played in his favour. I don't want you to feel bad for him".

Raghav knew that she was trying to calm him down. It struck like a dagger in his heart that he wasn't there for her when she went through all the misery.

He also realised that she doesn't trust him enough to talk about everything that happened in his absence.

He spoke holding her hands with guilt " Sweetu! If the kid was alive would you love me more or the kid?"

He didn't know why he asked that question of the million things he wanted to say.

Shriya smirked and questioned " I have never had the chance to be the mother of my duggu. How can I draw any conclusion and answer you in such a case?"

Raghav realised that it's impossible for him to imagine the kind of pain and agony she has gone through.

He knew that she will never share it with him but he has decided that she needs to share it with someone. He promised himself in his mind that he will make sure all her wounds are healed.

He took her towards the dining table by her hand and said " Sweetu! It's your birthday and I don't want you to feel sad anymore"

" Why are you doing this Raghav? Did I not ask you to stay away from me?" She questioned sternly.

" I can't stay away from you anymore Sweetu!" He replied looking into her eyes.

" Don't you love me Sweetu?" He questioned seriously.

" I love you Raghav! But cannot stay with you" replied Shriya.

" I will respect you decision and never disturb you Shriya. This time I promise you" replied Raghav in his strong voice filled with sadness.

Shriya knew that if Raghav promised, he will go to any extent to keep up the promise. A part of her felt torn but she knew that was the right thing to do.

*********
A/N

Hey guys!

I hope you are all good.

Do you think Shriya was right?

And what about Raghav's decision?

What will happen now?

Do drop in your thoughts, love and criticism in the comments.

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