A secret treasure of the past

37. Angst

Shriya completed preparing the sandwich. She made a smiley with tomato ketchup on it. She went to her room to see a sleeping Arihan. She slowly woke him up and fed him the sandwich in his half asleep mode itself. He was grumpy and kept mumbling things in his own language. She couldn't stop but smile at his innocence. All she could comprehend from his words was he was really missing Laxman.

She dialled Laxman's number and as soon as the call was answered without listening spoke "Lucky! Are you okay? Arihan is really missing you. I called to inform that he is sleeping now and is better. I know you must be worried but I will manage it".

"Am I supposed to convey the message to Lucky now or is it fine if I could talk to you first and convey the message later as he is in an emergency surgery" the person on the other end questioned sarcastically.

Shriya took no time to recognise Raghav's voice. She closed her eyes shut tightly and managed to speak "Uhhm... Ac..tually.. I ..th..thought it w...aas Uhhm Lucky!".

"I could gather that information from whatever you spoke. Is there anything else you want to speak? I mean do you even feel that you have a responsiblity to have a conversation with me?" he demanded in a soft but stern voice.

Shriya tried to breathe for a while and convinced her mind to speak "Ra..Raghav! I... act..ually...you see....uhmm". Before she could continue the call got disconnected.

Shriya sat down immediately on the sofa and relaxed her mind by breathing. Her mind continuously chattered.

What were you thinking? You thought you would never face him? How will you manage now? You should have informed him the moment you came to know the truth about Arihan. Don't you remember how upset he was after you told him that the child was dead?

Shriya gulped down a glass of water along with the tablets Dr.Alba have given her during her last session. She did not realise but she was having a mild panic attack. She quickly paced across the room. She gathered all her courage and dialled Raghav's number this time. The phone kept ringing but was not being answered. After a while he picked up and said "Open the door I am outside your house".

Though she was anxious she was determined and went and opened the door. She looked at him standing glorious before her eyes. His eyes looked tired and sad. She moved aside to let him inside and shut the door.

"I cannot leave things entangled Feetu! I cannot sleep otherwise". Raghav said aloud reminding Shriya of her own words. She told them when they were young and she was trying to fix a tangled wind chime on her brother's birthday.

"Raghav please don't create a scene here. Serah is sleeping and so is...... Arihan" Shriya spoke. Raghav only glared at her. She took his hand marched to the pent house on the terrace.

Inside the pent house Raghav did not speak a word. He looked at Shriya with eyes demanding answers.

"This is a difficult conversation Raghav. I am not in a state of mind to speak about anything". She spoke trying to avoid an eye contact.

"Alright! I see that you are more than comfortable talking about it to Lucky and Sharanya aunty right! Why don't you tell it out that you don't trust me and feel I am insensitive to understand things directly. Stop being a hypocrite Shriya! I promised you that I won't interfere in your life. I was keeping that promise. Despite that was it not your responsibility to share this information? He is my child for god's sake" He roared the last statement.

"Raghav I did not want to hide it from you. I was concerned about Serah's wedding" she spoke in a calm tone.

"You can't be serious! Are you? One fine day  you break the news to me that you actually went ahead and had my child. You reveal this news to me many days after we met again. Then you tell me in the next instant that he was dead. Do you realise the amount of guilt I was living with all this while. Now that you know he is alive and happy, you did not feel the need to let me know because of a stupid wedding?" Raghav couldn't hold back his words.