Hamliza Oneshots

"I just want to be numb. I don't want to feel anything."

Going to be honest, I'm not super happy with this one, and feel like I could never do the situation justice. And since I have never experienced this or had family members who have, this is the best I could do to make it as realistic as possible. 

Also, thank you so much for 1k reads!! I can't even tell you how grateful I am. Anyways, on to the story!

...

"I just want to be numb. I don't want to feel anything."

"No, this can't be happening," Eliza's voice quivered, hunching over her small fifteen-week pregnant belly.

She groaned as another wave of sharp cramps overcame her abdomen. She pulled her pants down slightly, looking down to find spots of blood staining her underwear and parts of her thigh.

One arm around her belly, she reached for her phone and called her boyfriend who was working at the school library on his senior thesis.

"Alex?" she asked as soon as she heard him answer his phone. "You need to come home now. It's the baby."

"Is something wrong??" he responded nervously, already packing up his laptop and his books to back his way to their apartment.

He could hear her crying and sniffling. "Yes, just get home now."

Not ten minutes later he reached their apartment only to find her crouched on the bathroom floor with a tear stained face and bloodshot eyes. He had a hunch something was wrong over the phone, but now he knew exactly what was going on.

"Sweetheart, we need to get you to the emergency room immediately." He dialed 911 and gave them their address, thanking God that they were on first floor. "Everything's going to be fine."

"Baby, it hurts so bad. Make it go away," Eliza whined as he picked her up into his arms bridal style, swooping her legs over his arm.

His eyes pricked with his own tears seeing Eliza in so much pain. "I wish I could, Liza. I would take it away if I could."

The ambulance arrived quickly and whisked them away to the hospital, confirming exactly what they knew but wished wasn't true.

She was miscarrying.

A D&C was scheduled, and Alexander and Eliza would be saying goodbye to their sweet baby girl soon, never to see her again.

When they arrived back home, Eliza didn't say a word. She just found herself on their couch, laying down facing away from everything. She didn't want to cry anymore, but she couldn't stop.

"Can I sit by you?"

She nodded into the couch, moving her legs so that Alexander could sit close to her.

His hand went to her knee, rubbing it gently, letting her talk on her own terms. He didn't have the right words to say. His heart was broken in ways that he'd only felt once before—when his mother passed away. He's dealt with deep sorrow and pain before, but she hadn't. He felt that he needed to be strong for her.

"I just want to be numb. I don't want to feel anything," Eliza finally broke the silence, turning her face away from the couch and exposing her red, tear stained face finally. She bit her lip, trying to stop tears from escaping again. "I know we weren't prepared and that she was an accident, but I loved her more than anything."

"I know," he whispered, still gently caressing her knee. "So did I. I still do."

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, covering her eyes. "I could have done a better job. I should have known something was wrong before anything happened."

He gently moved her hands away from her face and held them in his. "Hey, hey, hey," he said lightly. "It is not your fault, Eliza. Sometimes this happens for no reason. It's not anyone's fault." His voice wavered as his words got caught in his throat, ready to submit to the fate of his own tears again.

"Then why do I feel like a terrible mother? I feel like I could've done better."

He gently held her chin. "You are the perfect mother. I can't tell you just how perfect of a mother you are just from watching you these last few months. I don't think I've ever been more in love with you."

His eyes glistened with tears.

She remained silent, tucking her head into Alexander's neck and wrapping her arms around his torso.

"I love you," he added, kissing her forehead and calmly running his fingers through her hair.

All she did was nod into his chest as both let tears fall down in silence.