Hamliza Oneshots

"I hate you, but I think I hate myself even more" Part 3

It's taken me a while to get this even a little bit how I wanted it, and I'm still not overly happy with it. Nevertheless, here's the final part of this mini series, as requested by a few people!

As always feel free to leave requests or dm requests! I think it's about time for some fluff in the next chapter!

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"I hate you, but I think I hate myself more" Part 3

He looked at me dumbfounded.

I bet he didn't think I would ever bring up divorce with him. Never in my life did I think we would end up in a situation like this. We made vows at our wedding to stay faithful to each other until death do us part. The man whom I fell helplessly in love with had left me feeling helplessly alone.

"You can't be serious, Betsey," he reasoned. Tears sprung to his eyes as if he didn't realize how much he has hurt me. That he didn't cheat on me just once, but three times now. And I believed he had changed every time. Well I'll be damned if I let him do it again.

"You don't get to call me that, Alexander. You've broken my trust," I spat. I could barely stand as my emotions took over, so I stomped my way to the dining room and sat down on one of the chairs. "I'm quite serious. I can't keep letting you play me like this. You promised me after the first time that you wouldn't do it again and I believed you. You promised me that you were really done after the second time and I trusted you. And now you've broken that trust again and I can't let you do this to me again."

He demeanor softened as he made his way to another spot around the dining room table. Some of the most difficult arguments have happened at this table, and here was another one that we both knew was not going to end well.

"Eliza, I really am sorry. You have every right to be upset with me. I don't want you to leave me; you mean everything to me."

"Do I really?" I bit my lip as my eyes watered. I didn't want to cry again. I didn't want him to think I was weak. "You can't honestly say that I mean everything to you when you've left me for another woman on multiple occasions. I deserve better."

His head dropped in shame as he messed with a string hanging off of his old t-shirt I had helped the kids decorate for him last Father's Day. "You do deserve better," he agreed after a few moments. "The kids deserve better than me for a dad."

I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to spout off saying hurtful words about how they really shouldn't have to deal with a father like the one he himself had. I held my tongue, knowing that even though he had been a terrible husband, he was a wonderful father. He loved those kids more than anything else in the world. More than me.

"You're not..." he choked up, "you're not going to take the kids away from me, are you?"

My shoulders loosened from their tense state, suddenly sympathizing with him. "No. It was never my intention to take them from you. We could work out a custody agreement," I suggested. I couldn't dare take the children away from their father.

Relief fell upon his face as he heard my words, and that itself could have made him cry. "Are you sure we couldn't work anything else out? I don't want to lose you."

I hadn't considered separation. It was a tempting thought as I desperately wanted to forgive him. "I don't think so," I decided, bursting into tears.

We sat together crying in disbelief that this was our reality. We were the model couple for our families and friends, both in high school and beyond. The rest of that night was rough, but we both did a good job looking happy for Philip and Angie.

The divorce was finalized only a few months later. We were able to separate on good terms, despite how betrayed I still felt. We had agreed that we had to get along for the sake of the children. They were the glue that kept us from completely hating each other.

As we left the courtroom after the finalizing the divorce, I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. As much as it hurt, I knew we made the right decision. I pulled him into one last hug before parting. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too."

That last whisper made me grateful that we were able to do this peacefully.