Hamliza Oneshots

"I hate you, but I think I hate myself even more" Part 2

A part two to my last oneshot was highly requested, so here you go! As always, feel free to comment or send requests in! I apologize in advance for this one, but just remember, it's not canon ;)

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"I hate you, but I think I hate myself more" Part 2

As I pulled back into Peggy's driveway, I brought the kids back to see their aunt and cousin. They quickly ran off to their cousin's bedroom to leave me with Peggy.

"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call you and warn you we were coming back, but I just had to," I rambled the second the kids were gone. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked down, embarrassed that I had been cheated on once again.

Peggy pulled me into a hug and let me cry on her shoulder for a few minutes before grabbing some tissues and wiping away my tears. "You never have to apologize for unexpected visits, Lizzie. Especially when you feel like you had nowhere else to go. What happened?"

I took a deep breath, composing myself before opening the wound again. "When I got back to the house, I found Alexander sleeping with another woman. I felt like such a fool, Peggy. I can't believe I let this happen to myself again."

She grabbed my face and made me look straight into her eyes. My eyes watered up more looking at the anger she was already expressing. "Elizabeth. It is not your fault. It is all his fault, and he'll be lucky if I don't go beat him up right now. You should not blame yourself, darling."

"But I forgave him. I've forgave him both times and stayed. I let it happen," my voice cracked as my salty tears hit my lips.

Peggy pulled me back into her arms, letting me rest against her like I let my children rest against me when they are crying. "Shh, darling. You forgave him, and that was brave. He's the one that went against his promise to you. You are more than enough."

She moved to the couch and patted to the spot next to her. I sat down hesitantly, the feeling of heartbreak washing over me again.

"I just don't know what to do, Peggy. I told him I hated him."

She sat up straighter. I bet she never expected those words to come out of my mouth. It shocked me, too. I never thought I could hate someone, and yet the one person I hate was the one I'm married to.

"That's a big statement, but I don't blame you for it either."

"What should I do, Peggy? I can't do this again, but I don't know what to do."

Peggy looked nervous about what she was about to say, but nevertheless, she took a deep breath and responded. "Honestly, Eliza, if it were me, he'd be gone. Have you thought about a divorce?"

I bit my lip, a little ashamed to admit that I had. "Most of the way here. But the kids, Peggy. I can't take them away from him, especially Angie. And I can't live without them either. I can't let my children be in a broken family."

"I think both Philip and Angie will understand and want their mother to be happy and safe. Is that the only thing holding you back?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. The kids are a huge factor though. I'm scared. I'm so scared that Philip and Angie will hate me. Or mama and papa."

"No one is going to hate you. We are all most concerned with how he treats you. And he has failed on his marriage vows on more than one occasion now. And I can't imagine how much it hurts for him to fail when you've not only fulfilled your vows, but also exceeded them. You've given him more than one chance to fix it, and he hasn't."

I wiped away my tears and sniffled as I tried to make myself more presentable. "Are you telling me I should divorce him?"

She held onto my hands and moved to sit closer to me. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Eliza. You need to make that decision for yourself. But what I can tell you is that you and the kids are welcome to stay here as long as you need."

My sister was far too kind to me. "Are you sure John won't mind? I can always find a hotel nearby."

"He'd be more than happy to help you out right now. He may be Alexander's best friend, but he is always here to protect you."

"Thanks, Peggy. And thanks for being here for me. I'll think about what you said."

She pulled me into an embrace for the last time that day. "I'll always be here for you and the kids."

...

I should always be thankful for my little sister, even though she drove me crazy when we were teenagers. While staying with her family for three weeks, she and her husband helped me get what I needed to get done before returning home.

The kids greeted their father excitedly upon entering the house, unaware of the kind of person he had become. It broke my heart that their father, someone they looked up to so dearly, was not all that they thought he was.

No one could deny he was a good father as he pulled the kids in his arms and kissed their little cheeks. He was an excellent father, and that was one of the things that made him so attractive.

"Kids, why don't you go to Angie's room and play for a few moments. I need to talk with papa."

"Noooo, come on, mama. We want to play with papa!" Philip whined.

"After dinner, all right? Just go play for a little bit," I reasoned, watching their faces fall. Great, now they don't like me either.

The sadly marched up to Angie's room, leaving me alone with my husband.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Alexander. I'm hurt, betrayed, and embarrassed. I've done a lot of thinking over the last few weeks, and my decision hasn't been an easy one. When I found you in our bed with that woman, I was distraught. Never once have I given up on you—on us—but clearly you don't hold that same sentiment."

He stepped forward to console me, about to run his fingers through my hair. I stood back though. It felt wrong to be touched by him when his hands had been recently tainted with another woman's body.

"Betsey, I'm sorry." I cringed at his use of my nickname. The nickname I only let him use for me. He didn't deserve to call me that anymore. "I don't blame you for being upset. But I do love you, and I want to make things right."

I cut him off before he could say anything more, handing him a pile of papers. "Alexander, I want a divorce."