Books, Boys, and Basketball: Senior Year

SHOCK

We end up back at Drew's but he's still not talking to me, and I'm afraid to leave things like this. I'm afraid to go home.

Drew tosses his racer jacket on the couch, his keys in a glass bowl on his coffee table, and he begins pacing the floor. He's upset and he's put his usual walls up. So, I can't reach him. Not when he's like this. The best thing to do is wait him out.

When he finally looks at me, I already know what comes next won't be good. "Do you really expect me to believe they've been together for at least a year and you knew nothing about it?" Drew asks. My lips part but no sound comes out. "For months you've listened to me pour my heart out to you about how much my dad leaving my mom has me all fucked up. And you knew."

"Drew I swear to you... I didn't know until two or three weeks ago." I sulk.

"I wish I could believe that," he huffs. "More than anything I wish I could, but two weeks is more than enough time to tell me Sidney. You didn't tell me because you didn't want to. Knowing you, you were probably going to wait until you had me trapped and I couldn't leave."

I'm genuinely hurt he thinks I would try to trap him. I'm not that girl, and I thought he knew me better than that.

"I would never do that to you. The fact that you think I'm capable of something like that hurts my feelings."

"Fuck your feelings," he snaps at me. "As a matter of fact, I want you to leave."

I heard what he said and saw his mouth move to form the words, but my feet refuse to move. "This is exactly what Vanessa wants, Drew. This is why she did what she did. She's trying to take everything I care about away from me, and everyone knows there is nothing I care about more than you."

He scoffs and shakes his head. "You have a funny way of showing it. How could you keep something like this from me? You should have told me the moment you found out."

"I was afraid to lose you." I sigh.

"Isn't that why your mom lied to your dad for so long about who your real father was? Because she was afraid to lose him. Vanessa's right... like mother like daughter, and right now... I don't trust you anymore, Sid."

"Drew, I-"

"Leave," he cuts me off. "I don't want to talk anymore. I just want you to leave."

"Drew..."

"Leave! Get the fuck out!" He shouts.

Not wanting to upset him any more than he already is, I nod, gather my things, swallow my voice, and leave.

The drive back home is a silent one. I feel like I can't breathe and as I walk into the house, both Drew's dad and my mom notice the devastated look on my face. They're the reason I'm in this mess. So, when I make it to my room, I close and lock my bedroom door. After hours of quietly sobbing so our parents won't hear, I fall asleep from emotional exhaustion.

That night and the following day are some of the hardest days of my life. Between talking myself out of calling Drew every five seconds, wanting to hope that everything will be okay between us, and secretly fearing they won't, I'm in a complete panic. I know he loves me, but when he's angry he can do some spiteful things.

I go through several emotions while waiting for Drew to forgive me. The first one being shock. Everything unraveled so fast that it was like watching a freight train, known as my love life, go off the rails and over a cliff.

There was nothing I could do to stop it once Vanessa got the ball rolling. All I could do was watch and wait until all that lay in its wake was destruction. The destruction of my relationship with Drew, and the destruction of the trust between us. I should have told him when I had the chance, but like an idiot I didn't, and I'm kicking myself for it.