I Want You Here When I Wake Up

14

Harry's POV
I didn't like it but eventually, I eventually crawled off the floor, not by much, but the couch was better than the cold, hard, evil Louis- I mean floor. The initial surge of tears that came with the disappearance of Louis from my life has disappeared into the darkness but returned in the form of deep, nasty, putrid anger. Well, I still haven't even left my apartment, yeah now it's mine seeing how the hell I haven't heard from Louis in almost three weeks.  Seriously did the idiot disappear off the face of the planet? How could he just leave and not even bother to text or call me?

The one thing I gained from this experience was a new favorite TV show, The Other Two, which was hilarious so much so it's all I watched for the past however many days I've been glued to this couch. But hey, who cares anyway?

One thing I will say is that when you're focused on hating somebody you don't really feel physical pain. So in a way, I guess I can thank that little devil for something. Ha! You thought, no way in hell I am ever going to thank him. I reached for the remote and pressed play on yet another episode.

Man, you really do lose track of time when watching nonsense television but by the darkness that's emerged through the windows and the grumble roaring in my stomach, I knew it was late. Reluctantly I got up off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Opening the pantry it looked like a desert filled with empty chip bags and cookie containers I was left with all the junk food the little devil bought anytime he went to the store. Seriously, I think he still a four-year-old, especially after this fucking fiasco. I grab an old box and crackers and checked the expiration date, yep I'm good and headed back to my place on the couch which was now perfectly molded to my arse.

The one bad thing about living on campus is they shut the damn tv signals off once it reaches 3:00 am, they claim it's supposed to help students get to sleep at a reasonable time like uni students even sleep. But that is about the only reason I ever know what time it is. We- I don't own a clock anywhere in this place and I refused the look at my phone once I realized Louis- um the tiny devil- was never coming back. So every night when the TV shut off I was left contemplating, do I sleep or just stay up?

I still don't know the proper answer to this question because every time I go to sleep I wake up to the stupid sun shining and why should I see that garbage, the last sun should be rotting in hell. But every time I stay up until I always end up crying like I'm right back at the beginning of this solo living. I'm left missing the person I depended on. I start coming up with every reason why she had every reason to leave me, why you should've seen it coming so much earlier than what it did. But it always ends in the same way, realizing I only brought this upon myself, aching for Louis to be back in my arms even though I know if he was here I would probably strangle him.

It's because of debating between these two thoughts that almost every night I still end up with tear-stained cheeks, and maybe that's why I feel like I'm always back to the start because I wake up the same way, alone. I wake up forgetting the monstrosity that is my life, wanting the only person I know that would make it better, but he's the only reason for this. But it's like I'm hit by a brick wall all over again. He left. He left and I can't do anything about it anymore, he left because he shouldn't have to deal with me a broken loser
Who took him for granted. But that doesn't mean he had the right to disappear on me when I needed him. And that's when all the anger so just back in and we're back, back to the present.

The only contact I have with people anymore is the mail that gets delivered, I still haven't decided if that's a good thing or not but it's only possible because our-my apartment dorm was too lazy to put in mailboxes so they just shove the mail under the door every single day. Typically it's just random crap about what's going on with school or the paper copies of the bills I have to pay. Even though every day I go to the floor and pick up the mail I never open it I throw it on the counter next to it and head back to my couch.

Speaking of bills I am so glad I decided to pay an entire years worth of rent upfront because now I don't have to worry about money, I don't have to work, which means I don't have to leave which let's be honest who needs to leave the apartment anyway when all I need is right here. Food. Entertainment. And a place to sleep. Ha, I guess I am truly living it up without him. I hope he is enjoying his time or ever the hell he is.

I'm halfway through what must be episode 200 when I hear a knock on the door. Immediately my heart drops, I don't know who it is but my mind keeps hoping it's one person, the one person I hate with every single ounce of my body. I contemplate getting up or staying in my safe little sanctuary. After a short deliberation, I decided to stay where I'm at, I really don't need to hear whatever he's going to say. But the knocking continues. It continues for the next 10 minutes and I've had enough.

"Hold up I'm not my way!" I yell. Has this person ever heated of respect or quietness? Just before I reach the door I get this odd feeling. A pit in my stomach so deep I feel like I'm being dragged to the center of the earth score, suddenly everything is so real. Soon as soon as I let another person into my life it becomes real. My life is moving on, and I'm all alone. My hand is hovering over the doorknob shaking slightly well. I truly decide what I'm about to do but I know what I have to do. I turn the knob and I open the door. My eyes go wide and my breath hitches in my throat, my brain is suddenly processing everything that's happened in the last three weeks. I can feel the tsunami starting to trickle in my eyes threatening to overflow in a minute.

"Wh-what are you doing here?"