I Want You Here When I Wake Up

17

Harry's POV
I instantly regret agreeing to do this. I hate hospitals, I hate doctors. All I want to do is go home. I may be 22 years old but I'm acting completely like a little kid, following closely behind my mom as she finds the doctors office, she does all the speaking and writing on all the forms, but I don't care at this point.

I'm sitting on the exam table leaning up against the wall behind me staring into the blank wall ahead of me. That's one of the reasons I hate hospitals so dull. I haven't said a word since I left the car, but I know soon I'll have to and I'm not looking forward to it.

Reason number two why I hate doctors and hospitals is how long it takes for you to actually get treatment, it's been almost an hour and I'm not sure how much longer I can stare at this wall before going insane if I haven't gone already.

*Knock* Knock*

My head whips towards the door where I see a man who looks not much older than me maybe late twenties early thirties maybe, wearing a signature white coat and I notice he's holding an extremely thick Manila folder. He shakes my mother's hand and introduces himself as Dr. Sheeran. He turns to me "And you must be Mr. Styles" I don't offer my hand which I know makes my mother frown from my disrespect.
"You seem to have quite the case here looking at all your records"
Well thanks, Captain Obvious for your great observations I sat in my head while back in reality " yeah" is all I can manage"

"So before I go over what I've found in your files I would like for you to tell me what's been going on with this last flare up"  Dr. Sheeran's time was dead serious, I guess it's time to spill but I know it won't be easy. I don't even know where to start. I keep having to rewind the past two months to get to the beginning before I even speak and the tears start to threaten my eyes.
No. stop it. You are not going to cry. Not now.

"Um... well... I, it started a while ago" I stop, feeling so overwhelmed by the images replaying in my head. " I was in class at Uni and my back just started getting very stiff and started cracking a lot" it took maybe a whole five minutes for me to get the words out and my voice kept breaking one every other word as I tried not to cry.

" what did you do when you noticed this?"  Now I really had tears in my eyes and I started to whimper just a little bit. I was completely falling apart. I continued to stare blankly at the wall, twiddling with my hands not knowing where to go from here.

Out of the bottom of my eye I saw a glimpse of color. The sweatshirt was placed gently over my lap. Mom must have brought it in with her because I remember leaving it in the car.  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and held tightly onto a piece of Louis. I could do this.

"Nobody ever questioned me, well one person did but I told him I was fine" I spoke so softly I'm not even sure the doctor heard but he just kept nodding so I kept on talking.

" I told him I was because I didn't want him to worry, I mean after all it's not like my pain affects other people so they shouldn't have to worry about me. So I had some leftover pain meds in my medicine drawer from an old doctor and I took those when the pain got super bad, otherwise, I would just take Advil and deal with it as much as possible." Silent tears started to trickle down my cheek but I kept talking, and I kept holding the green fabric in my hands. The image of Louis wearing it in America keeps my voice just loud enough for Dr. Sheeran to hear me and write down notes.

" I really didn't think it was going to get super bad so I kept playing it off and did everything any normal Uni student would do, go to class, walk around campus, play football with my friends. And sometimes for a bit, it was fine but then when I got back home and started to reload the pain came. It always hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind out of me and causing me to go dizzy. Whenever that happens I just close my eyes, think of a happy place, then squeeze the hell out of whatever I'm nearest to distract me from the pain. And then it goes away."