I Want You Here When I Wake Up

26

Harry's POV

My alarm clock blared through my eardrums at 4:15 am on Friday which means that it's officially surgery day. I'm so groggy I head to the kitchen and start making tea only to remember I can't eat or drink anything today until after the procedure. Ughhhh.

I have to be at the hospital at 5:00 am sharp to check-in and do a last minute test and talk to my anesthesiologist before I officially go into the operating room. Thankfully I only live five minutes away and there will be almost no traffic at this hour. I head to the bathroom and turn in the shower. I put the water on the hottest setting and jump in, I better enjoy this because it will be my last shower for a little bit. After surgery, I have to be given a sponge bath, yes the thing you see all those elder people get in hospital drama tv shows.

I let the water run down every crevice of my body, the heat relaxing the extra tension in my muscles. I grab my bottle of shampoo and lather up my hair until the curls are in my soapy blob on top of my head. When the water starts to run cold I quickly rinse my hair and hop out of the shower. I ruffled the remaining water in my hair and wrapped the now damp towel around my waist and walked into my room to grab a change of clothes.

I haven't done my laundry in a while so there's little left to pick from, without having any luck of finding comfortable clothes in my closet or in the laundry bin I head over to my nightstand, normally only my super soft pajamas are kept in here and this seemed like the perfect time to use them. Pulling in the silver handle the drawer seemed stuck or caught on something. That can't be right though, I keep an exact inventory of where I put my clothes and the last time I checked it this draw was packed just perfectly to the brim without any overflow.

After a little too long of a fight with the draw it finally spurred open. My eyes landed in the culprit and I felt the heat flush out of my body as the cold seemed to slam into me simultaneously. It wasn't my shirt, rather out shirt. Printed across the front in a curved font the words Leeds Music Festival 2011. It was back when we were still kinda kids I was 15 and Louis was 16, it had been our first concert by our sleds and we were piss broke but wanted a souvenir to remember it so we split the cost of the shirt. At the time it fit both of us nicely. It still had fit the same on Louis the last time I'd seen him wear it. For me, on the other hand, it had become a bit snug around the shoulders and just barely hit my hip bones. I don't care and I throw in some black sweats that contrast nicely with the white and bold pattern of the shirt.

The memory of Louis made my mind jump to the letter I had written yesterday. Maybe he has read it? I immediately fumble for my phone that's layered between my sheets and check all my notifications. Nothing. My heart falls to my feet. What if the letter blew away in the wind? What if some other random Louis saw it and thought it was for him? What if he reads it but doesn't care?

In order to keep me calm I drag my chair over to the window and stare out of it. It was already 4:36 am now, I had about 15 minutes until I had to leave. When I pulled back the curtains and lifted the deeper my breath caught in my throat. A fourth star. What? How could that be? I take a deep breath and force the thoughts out of my head, I try to just admire the glimmering beauties in the sky.

At 4:50 my mom comes to get me and tells me it's time to head to the car. Before we left she came and sat right by my side.

"How are you feeling baby?"

" Nervous, I can't believe I'm really doing this" she leaned in the give me the type of hugs only mothers can give, the most comforting and reassuring thing you could ever feel.

" I can only imagine Harry. You're gonna go great, you've already felt the hardest part. Plus I'll be right here every step of the way"

I gave her a half-smile, while I definitely was grateful to have my mother by my side. I so badly wish it was Louis who was telling me those words right now.