tredecim

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the clouds are frowning at you.

don't look up.

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"we both know the history of violence

that surrounds you.

but i'm not scared,

there's nothing to lose now that i've found you."


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lana del rey +++ honeymoon

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jungkook's POV

my fingertips are numb. i think? i can't really tell.

but no, they aren't. i feel the warm flesh of mr. kim's bare shoulder as i lean upon him to get to the shower. wait, why am i showering?

in my head are these little, drippy beans. they keep knocking on my head, pounding...and i think i'm tripping. 

is this...re/al l/ife/?

i don't know. mr. kim is here and i want to run. but i can't. 

i think someone just made a promise for me. wait, did i make the promise? my head is so fuzzy-

don't fight.

okay, that's what you said. wait no. 

who are you?

"you can just sit in the shower. you don't have to get undressed if it bothers your leg. it's up to you."

somewhere someone tells me. it's far off. then i realize that mr. kim's throat is vibrating in purple and i think i know he said it? yeah, he just told me he said it. no? mr. kim, i want to ask you-

"aren't you going to force me to undress?"

those words...the beans drawl out of me. they come out in tilted lines and mr. kim turns his black eyes to me. i can't tell if he's mad, happy, or my father.

father...? 

NO!

"no."

mr. kim replies to my question. i waver a bit but nod. he won't make me undress. my stomach clenches at the thought of showering with this sick, sick man. 

but right now i can't feel anything in the right ways. 

once we get to the shower, he lets go of me. i nearly topple into the shower as he lets go, but i steady myself on the black shower curtain. my leg feels like jello that has been prescribed too much ramelteon and is trying to injest chemicals that have been mixed by an outlaw in the bathroom sink...bathroom shower...?

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