thɘ remodelɘr (k.th + j.jk) ✓

gratias tibi

hello. (goodbye?)

thank you for reading the remodeler (k.th + j.jk). 

before i go into the storyline and writing process, i just want to thank all of you for making it to the end--even if you didn't like it. reading stories sometimes helps one get a different perspective on things. even if you hated the story or despised the characters, then hey! you know yourself better, maybe you learned something new about art, remodeling, murder, latin, or love. :)

okay, now onto my personal notes about this story. it gets kinda long, so either tap out or get some popcorn.

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wow. okay.

i first envisioned the remodeler at a drive thru job of my own. there was this one regular customer at the place i worked at who would come through every single day with his white van. it got me thinking, and in the stuffy air of most drive through booths, i got a vision of someone getting pulled through the window (myself!!!). then the vision morphed into a psycho story, and then into a twisted love story. yeah, so there was the inspiration...hah...

as for the plot, i initially was going to have both leads fall so deep into desire that they self-destructed. to quote the very famous sir francis bacon, "it is impossible to love and to be wise." in the story, the reader can see this in taehyung's possessiveness, and how that causes him to lay everything on the line including his life.

from jungkook's perspective, this can been seen as jealousy, obsessing, doubting...all things that weaken a relationship. at some point the reader is worried that one or both may get seriously hurt because they refuse to separate. just think, if taehyung sent jungkook off when george first threatened him...would they have gotten injured as badly? but from another perspective...would they have ended up where they did?

all these things i thought of...and i found myself increasingly troubled. did i want to kill off jungkook in the house fire and leave taehyung to seek out revenge on george? did i want an ending where taehyung killed his mother without discovering it was her the entire time? did i want taehyung to snap on jungkook, kill his baby, and then lose his mind completely?

however juicy those endings may seem, and however tempted i may have been at first to write them, i grew too close to my characters and decided against it. plus, i wanted to highlight change in a positive light from such a messed up story. 

did it work? debatable. you tell me.

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now i'll move on to the characters i wanted to build.

taehyung was written as a psychopathic, heartless killer of his projects, a crazed perfectionist and raging knife collector. the reader saw his (Th0UGHTS!) and (V0ICES!) equally jumbled among his narration. his nature portrayed him as a highly unlikely suitor for jungkook. 

however, as more light is shed into taehyung's background, the reader perhaps has a change of heart for mr. kim. 

knowing that taehyung so desperately sought after affirmation from the only role model he had growing up, albeit through murder, maybe gained him some sympathy. instead of recognizing him for his troubled thoughts, maybe some readers saw through his mental state as a barrier he kept struggling to get through.

not to mention, most of his attributes were that of a schizophrenic (and i'm not trying to generalize about a major disorder, if you know anyone with this illness it is very serious and i never intend to glamorize it). he found himself paranoid, hearing his father's and mother's voices, irritable, likely depressed, thinking disordered thoughts, etc.