The Expendables One Shots and Imagines

Gotta love Christmas - Christmas x Reader

Warning: Mention of blood and use of knife

"(Y/n), can you hear me?" Barney asked over the comms.

"Loud and clear boss man, what can I do ya for?"

"You got a clear shot?"

"That's an affirmative sir!"

"Well you know what to do, and we'll pick you up on the docks. Don't be late." Barney told the sniper.

"If you're asking me out on a date boss, then I would never be late." The woman said, chuckling on the other end of the comms.

Barney grinned. "That girl is gonna be the death of me." Barney joked as he looked over at a very pissed off Christmas.

"Just get your ass back to the plane (Y/n)." Barney said with a cough, as the comms went silent.

"Ok Christmas, what the hell is wrong with you now?" Barney asked his friend, as he made his last checks from the pilot seat in the cockpit.

"Why does she always talk to you like that, but hardly says a word to me?" Christmas asked Barney.

Barney smirked. "Maybe its your sparkling wit and personality that does it Christmas."

"I'm serious Barn! You know what I've felt about her since she joined the team; with everything that happened with Lacey I didn't think there could be someone else, and then (Y/n) turns up out of the blue, but she doesn't seem to want to know. She's nice to everyone else, even Gunnar for god sake." Christmas grumbled.

Gunnar pocked his head into the cockpit. "Of course (Y/n) likes me, she has eyes." He said cockily, taking a drink from his hipflask.

"Why don't you try wooing her?" Galgo asked from behind Gunnar, before pushing his head through under the big Swedes arm.

"A beautiful Senorita like (Y/n) should be wooed and treated like a Queen; not told that she should stop working out so much because her arms were starting to look like the competitors in an Iron Man competition." Galgo said, reminding Christmas of his latest faux pax with (Y/n).

Christmas groaned loudly, rubbing his hand down his face. "I didn't mean it like that. Whenever I try and talk to her it comes out wrong and everything turns into an insult. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I do." Shouted Caesar from the back.

"You suck at talkin to women."

"(Y/n) isn't a woman, she's a lady, and far too good for Santa Claus over there." Toll chimed in.

The others looked at one another as Christmas stared out the windows of the cockpit. They knew all too well about (Y/n)'s feelings for Christmas but knew that the highly trained sniper was worse at expressing her feelings for him than he was for her. The tension between the two was becoming unbearable for the rest of the team, so Barney had come up with a plan; unfortunately, it involved putting (Y/n) in danger.

Suddenly the door to the plane swung open and (Y/n) leapt in panting heavily.

"Can you please get this flying trash can off the ground! I've got a few admirers following me."

All eyes turned to the sniper as she dropped to her knees covered in blood, trying to regain her breath.

Barney started the engines and the plane took off from the water as bullets flew past the fuselage. As the plane levelled out at a cruising height, Christmas jumped out of the co-pilot seat and rushed into the rear of the plane, to find the rest of the guys checking over the younger woman.

"What did you do this time (Y/n)?" Gunnar asked, crossing his arms over his chest, once he was happy that the blood wasn't hers.

"What? This?" (Y/n) asked sweetly, motioning to the blood.

"What can I say, some guys just got a bit touchy feely and I had to remind them that I'm a lady. Apart from my Iron man arms of course." (Y/n) said sarcastically as she caught a glimpse of Christmas.

"Ok guys, get outta the way and let me see her." Christmas said, pushing his way past the others.

"(Y/n) sweetheart are you ok?" Christmas asked as he pulled off her jacket looking for any wounds.

"I'm fine, will you please leave me alone." (Y/n) said, pushing Christmas' hands away from her.

"Woman, will ya please just give me a break for five minutes and let me clean you up?" Christmas pleaded, looking into her eyes, causing her to sigh and give in reluctantly.

"What happened?" Christmas asked as he wiped off the drying blood from her face.

She shrugged. "I hit the target and as I was running to get back to you guys, a couple of their brain dead thugs jumped me; I had to introduce them to my new little friend."

Christmas stopped his cleaning. "What new friend?" He asked, rather confused.

Out from behind her she pulled out the big knife that he had given her months before.

Christmas grinned. "I thought you said ya didn't like knives, especially ones that were gifts from me."

She shrugged again. "Ok, so I like knives, especially when I saw what you could do with them. I wanted to be able to do what you can."

Christmas took her hand. "Ya watch me?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" She asked furrowing her brows in confusion.

"Cos you don't like me?" Christmas stated.

"Who the hell said I didn't like you? You're the one that's always insulting me, but for some unknown reason I still like you. I've been trying to tell you for ages, but it comes out..............."

Before she could say anything else, Christmas' lips were on hers, his hands around her waist pulling her into him.

A cheer came up from the cockpit as the rest of the team looked on, causing the two to reluctantly pull apart.

"Thank god for that." Barney said as he threw something too Christmas.

"That's for when you have the good sense to ask (Y/n) to marry you!" Barney said, before retreating back into the pilot seat.

Christmas opened his hand to reveal a diamond encrusted skull ring.

"Well what do ya think sweetheart?" Christmas asked.

(Y/n) giggled and kissed Christmas on the nose. "You teach me how to throw knives as well as you do, and I might just think about it Mr. Christmas."

Christmas chuckled. "Well I'll take that as a yes then." He said before kissing her again.