XI

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I took Cole's hands as he lead me towards the restaurant. My eyes caught the familiar blue ones. I walked over to the table with Cole behind me. I didn't even realize that I was the one leading him now. I smiled and sat down, Cole sitting directly beside me. I looked down. Every since I met Cole, he always had a way of making me nervous. It was a good kind of nervous but it was still unsettling. Cole held onto my hand underneath the table. I looked at him with confusion but he didn't even spare me a second glance. I rolled my eyes.

"Austin, did you accept any of the offers?" Gloria asked me.

"Yes I did. It's not too far from here actually. They said they could accommodate online classes for me if I liked so I wouldn't need to be on the campus everyday. And the cost is also reasonable." I said. I never travelled since my documents didn't have my false name and I would be risking too much to always be travelling.

"That's wonderful dear. I'm glad you find a school to your liking." She said. I smiled. Cole's hands had begun to rub circles on my hand.

The waiter came by and we ordered our food. Not before Jamie had successfully got his number. I shook my head. Once a player, always a player. Our meals were placed before us and we dived right in.

"Hey Austin?" Hazel said. I looked up from my meal to her face, "is he your new boyfriend?"

I began choking on the meat I was eating. No pun intended. Cole rubbing my back as he handed me water. When I had finally calmed down, I mustered the energy to glare at Hazel. Cole had a wide smile on his face so I glared at him as well.

"No Hazel. He's not my boyfriend. He's a friend of mine." I said. One that you just so happen to fuck. Yea I know. I get the idea. Hazel looked between me and Cole before shrugging.

"For now." She said.

I didn't say anything else. I neither denied it nor confirmed it. Truth be told, I didn't know what was going to happen in the future. And I don't necessarily mind being in a relationship with Cole. I smiled looking down. Cole didn't say anything so I assumed he didn't mind either. The evening went on and soon it was time to go. Cole said he was gonna drop me home since Jamie had to get home to his baby sister and I didn't mind. We all walked out to the parking lot. Gloria hugged me which I returned.

"I'm so proud of you. And I'm sure you're family would be too, especially your mother." I smiled at her as she wiped the tear that fell from my eye, "Listen to me darling, everything will work out. You will be okay. Hazel will be fine. Your friends will be fine. Your family will be fine. I placed some money in the account so you can buy clothes and school supplies. I know how much you will need a laptop so get one." She kissed my head as I clung to her, "I'll see you later sweetheart. Please come by for dinner some time." She said.

I smiled and nodded, "I will."

Cole was waiting for me so we all said goodbye and went our separate ways. I was currently in Cole's car heading towards my house. Cole was the first to break the silence.

"I didn't see your family today." He said. I nodded smiling sadly.

"I figured they wouldn't show. My dad has to be working. My brother was probably too drunk to care and my sister was with her cilent more than likely, or getting high." I said. That was the truth. And it hurt even more when I said it out loud.

"What about your mom?" He said. My body went rigged. I didn't want to say anything. I sighed.

"She died when I was 13." I said. The car stopped and he looked at me. I didn't want any sympathy. It wasn't going to bring her back.

"Do you mind if I asked how she died?" He said. I shook my head.

"She went out to get medicine and bandages since I had gotten in a fight. While she was driving, she had a seizure and the car drove in front of a moving truck. She died on impact." I said as the salted water fell from my eyes. I wiped my eyes looking at him. Cole took my hand and said nothing else. I was grateful for that cause I didn't know how much I could take. My heart was being ripped apart slowly and in the most torturous way. Cole looked at me and said nothing. He led me towards the apartmemt. I quickly changed into something comfortable and sat on the couch. Cole handed me a beer and took one for himself.

"I'm sorry about your family. Did you always live with them?" He asked. I looked at him. I wondered if I should tell him the truth. I sighed.

"No. I lived with my mom. She was married to my dad but they lived separately. Mainly because he had a second wife. When she died, I was taken to his house. Turns out, that made his wife leave him. My brother and sister hated me ever since." Cole looked at me as I took a drink out of my beer, "But that's okay. It's just life. After my mom died, let's just say I went through a real rebellious stage and we had to move. That's it."

I feared I said too much but I couldn't stop myself. Cole leaned towards me and kisses my lips slowly. I placed the drink behind me as I allowed my hands to roam in his hair.

"Do you....do you want me to distract you for tonight?" He asked nibbling my bottom lip. I pulled away from him slightly and smiled.

"I don't need a distraction Cole. Sometimes it's good to think. And I rather not feel like I'm using you." I said and removed my hands from his hair.

"I don't mind." He said.

"I do." I sighed once again, "Why do you keep staying around me?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He said.

"Why do you treat me like a friend when you're just waiting for me to give the go ahead on sex with you? Why do you insist on spending your time with me? You will only get hurt you know." I said taking up my cigar and litting it.

"I don't know. I told you, I don't mind getting hurt. I wanna get to know you. That's all I can tell you." He said drinking his beer.

I watched the city lights blink from the window in my bedroom with Cole beside me. I pulled the joint from between my lips and exhaled the smoke.

What to get to know me huh?

I tilted my head upwards to the ceiling.

Just how much are you willing to sacrifice to get to know me?

I turned my head towards Cole. He was starring at me intently. I sighed placing the joint back between my lips and exhaled the smoke.

"I just have one rule since I can't stop you from getting to know me." I said. He looked at my lips as I pulled the joint away.

"What is it?"

His face was filled with hope. But I know how this story ends. I've been here before. It's always the same ending.

"Don't fall in love with me."

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