Sunflower Vol.6 [H.S]

forty

We have the Summer all over again.
Marina Young's POV

The past couple of days had been odd, and more odd in the sense that I was seeing Harry Styles again like I use. Without the kissing or hand holding of course. But the weird questions and numerous conversations remained. "So Lights Up is the first single you're dropping?" I ask him, popping a blueberry into my mouth as we sit outside in my backyard together. Harry nods with a small smile attached to his lips. "That's exciting, I love that one." I tell him. "When's the record label telling you to release it?" I add and he sighs softly, crossing one of his legs.

"Probably October." He says. "We're not doing much press that gives it away though." Harry mentions and I furrow my brows, sort of confused what that meant. When I released the first single off of my album I tweeted the date and the cover art for it.

"What's that mean?" I question and he smirks.

"It means exactly what I said." Harry states. "I'm not telling them when I drop it. Just little clues here and there .. I want that to happen a lot during this album." He explains and I laugh a little.

"So essentially what you want is for them to go crazy, get no sleep, and trust nothing?" I bring up. "Because if that's the case .. Then I completely agree. Seems like the right route when it comes to you." I comment and he laughs when he shakes his head. He shoves lightly.

"No." He says between chuckles. "I just think with album it's a lot more personal than the last one." Harry tells me. "I love the last album but I held back a lot more than this one. This time it's much more out there. Like the songs don't all have these crazy metaphors that you can interpret in your own way .. Sure you can do that ... But this time it's just straightforward. I just say the shit."

I smile to myself from his explanation. "And I think they're going to love that."

"I hope so." He frowns slightly. "I'm a little nervous about it." I shake my head.

"I don't think you should be .. The true fans will love the art you have created for them." I state and he nods with a smile when he looks from me to the view in front of us. "What is it?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I don't know it just feels good being here with you." Harry tells me. "It felt like an eternity." He says and I can't help but agree when I watch the world as well. "I've missed you."I don't answer back when I feel the familiar feeling of pain overcome me again. Confusion starts to make me questions why I couldn't feel as content as I wanted to be. Desolation starts to form when I realize the sadness that still fills me up. "Sunny?" Harry's voice snaps me out of it. I look toward him and perk up at the mention of the name. "When did you start realize you haven't been yourself?" He brings up and I glance away when I shake my head so softly, he can't notice.

"I don't think I started to realize it until about a month after we started talking." I tell him. "At first I thought it was just the heartbreak and missing you. But overtime I realize that's much more than that." I pause when I smile sadly, thinking about what I wanted to say next. "Harry, to be completely honest with you I never knew who I was." I say to him when I finally stare back at him. "So when I realize I haven't been much of myself .. I also noticed that how can I even be myself when I didn't know who I was in the first place." I let him know and he listens to me.