KIBA ; STRAY KIDS

41 ; KIBA

We were back on the kingdom schedule, and also managed to make a few new songs during the process. Also, I.N's graduation is happening so were going to film a SKZ Code episode to celebrate it with him. I hope I will be better to film it.

I hadn't been feeling to well recently. I was super depressed. I found out that it was my parents trying to ring me, and I have no idea why. One day, I opened my phone to find a voice message left from the number which belongs to my father. I was too curious as to why they had rang me for the first time in nearly 5 years so I listened to what they sent.

"Kiba...

This is your dad. Come home Kiba. If you don't come home by the end of this month, then you can deal with the consequences."

That was it. That was what they said after ringing me and talking to me for the first time since I left home. They threatened me if I didn't come home, and I was scared they would do something to ruin my life again. I couldn't just go home; I had a life here and important stuff to finish off. How was I meant to tell anyone about this?

Would they even understand?

"Come on Kiba, we need to practise this song." Chan said.

I had been sitting in the corner by myself in the practise room, kind of dazing in and out. I probably looked messy, and because we were recording the practise for YouTube, stays will probably point out how depressed I am. I didn't want to worry them, so I stood up and started paying more attention.

"KIBA!" 

I jumped at the shouting voice in the practise room. Seems I dazed out again. I looked at Chan who was somewhat angry with me, I could sense how he was trying his hardest not to break in front of the camera. I apologised half-heartily. Everyone went back to practising, and I had to make it seem like I was too, so I just did the dance break in small movements.

"You alright?" I heard and I turned to the voice. 

"Seungmin." 

"Yeah?" He asked with a confused expression. God, could I be anymore weird?

"I um..."

"Why you so out of it today?" He asked as he joined me in doing the dance practise in tiny movements to stay out of Chan's vision.

"Something happened-" I mumbled but I wasn't too sure if he heard.

"Do you miss me or something?" He joked and I looked at him, but his eyes were cold, "Did you ever even miss me?"

I closed my eyes; I couldn't trust myself not to cry. After weeks, we were somewhat talking about it, but this isn't the way I wanted to talk about it. He seemed rude and cold now, and I don't want this for us. I missed him lots, and sometimes it's hard to miss him when I know he doesn't feel the same. I don't deserve to miss him when I'm the one who ended everything.

"Can we talk about this...properly...when were alone?" I whispered to him, I opened my eyes and they were slightly blurry with tears, but Seungmin was too cold to care.

"Maybe." He said and then he walked off to practise with the others.

I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes harshly. 

"Kiba, step outside." Chan voice sounded and wiping my eyes did nothing as they started watering again at his harsh tone.

I didn't turn to the others, and I just walked out of the door. The tears were warm as they slid down my cheeks, and I continued to face away from the door. Was Chan really that angry with me? 

"Alright. How many times do I have to tell you to practise?" Chan started, and I nodded even though I couldn't face him, "You can't just wing it Kiba, you need to practise."

I nodded again. My chest was tight, I was trying so hard not to make any noise. I had to close my eyes are focus on my breath, but Chan was a leader for a reason, and nothing could get passed him. As soon as I felt his hand on my arm trying to turn me around, I jumped at the touch and buried my head into his neck and shoulders. I just hugged the life out of him because I was scared to be alone.

"Please tell me what's wrong baby. You've been so down these past few weeks." Chan said softly as he stroked my hair. 

Even though I was taller than him, I was practically hugging him for life. 

"You never speak out about how you're feeling. It scares me baby." Chan said, and I was crying harder. Everything was so overwhelming, and I was getting threatened, and Chan was so loving. All these things were too overwhelming for me. We both just waited till I had the energy to talk.

"Channie hyung?"

"What's up baby?"

"So many things." I mumbled out. My legs were sore so I pulled out of the hug and sat on my knees before hugging Chan's waist so he could keep his hands in my hair.

"So many things? Like what?"

"I'm overwhelmed about Kingdom." I started, "I worry about Hyunjin a lot too. I miss him."

"Hyunjin is okay Kiba. I know he's going through a lot too and he can't be with us but everything's going to be fine. Your truly to kind if you're worrying about him this much..." Chan whispered softly to me.

"I also miss..." I almost said his name. I almost said our secret. I almost just ruined the group...

"You miss Seungmin huh?"

I looked up slowly. How did he know? Was he going to shout at me some more? Was he going to kick us out of the group? I could deal with me getting kicked out but not Seungmin...

"Please don't kick Seungmin out of the group...I...You can kick me out." I choked out panicked.

"Shhh baby. I would've kicked you both out on New Year's if I wanted to do that." He laughed. New Years? "I accidently walked in on you two."

I was shocked. He had known since New Years and never said anything or made it a big deal. He just kept it to himself this whole time...But why? 

"Why?"

"Because I love the both of you so much. You were so happy with each other, and I can't lie, the songs you wrote when you were with him were super good, so I let it be and you caused no trouble for 5 months." Chan shrugged, "Just recently, I noticed how both of you seem to be super down, so I suspected something happened."

It was quiet for seconds.

"I really miss him." I sniffled out.

"I know you do." Chan whispered and continued stroking my hair, "Is there anything else?"

"Yeah." I managed to gain the courage, "I think my parents are trying to ruin my life."

"Your parents?" Chan asked confused, "You mean the parents you haven't spoken to since you left England?"

"Yeah, those parents." I nodded, "I got a voicemail from them, and they threatened me if I didn't come home, there would be consequences."

I think Chan's leader instincts kicked in. He hauled me onto my feet and wiped my cheeks with his sleeve. He breathed in a breath before smiling at me.

"Okay, go back inside and practise. I'm going to make a call, okay?" He said, and I tried smiling back, "Kiba, your 20 now, but to me you're still a baby and I'll protect you no matter what."

"I love you Channie hyung." I said and I left to go practise before I would start crying again from being overwhelmed.

I felt like a whole bag of burdens had just been opened and released from my back. I felt 20 times better after talking to Chan - that was the power of our leader. That was the power of my hyung.