KIBA ; STRAY KIDS

75 ; KIBA

I was in the JYP building, in a quiet room with no staff members but a camera facing me. I could see myself in the viewfinder and I smiled to myself nervously. JYP had talked to me and congratulated me on winning the trial like he said I would. We wanted to release a serious statement, so he had written something up to post later on, but I said I wanted to make a video to explain it all.

I pressed record on the camera and sat back in my chair nervously.

"Hello." I started, "I'm Kiba of Stray Kids."

I paused for a second, I had nothing written down which was probably my first mistake since I seem to ramble a lot. I looked at the table to get my thoughts together and try to get a simple structure going.

"You might have heard of me recently due to the news or the rumours spreading around my name. I'm here to address it all today because I respect my fans, and my friends who are worrying about me and want to know the truth.

The truth is...that my parents spread false accusations about me using the internet where I would see it and it would gain a lot of attention. They did it because they needed money from me and thought they could claim it through the court of law.

They were wrong. 

They claimed I stole £30,000 from them, when I was sixteen."

I was tempted to chuckle just to show how ridiculous the whole situation was but I had to keep serious so people wouldn't think I find the whole situation a joke and take my reaction out of context, but I frowned to show how stupid it was.

"The whole situation with my parents dates back to 2016 when I just turned sixteen. My parents had found out I was bisexual, and because they are strict Koreans, they kicked me out of the house and sent me away. They claimed I stole money from them to run away, but the reality was that they gladly used their own money to pay for me to live in Korea alone.

A lot of you know my parents are homophobic, I've wrote songs about them and how they saw me, but this was the first time they ever accused me of stealing from them. When I became a trainee, I didn't need their money anymore and for the past 5 years, I wonder if they've had a growing animosity towards me.

I have everything I need without them. So, they came to Korea and spread hurtful accusations about me. However, they had no evidence whereas I had evidence of their horrible attitude towards me. 

I won my court case today. 

But it wasn't easy for me.

In fact, I suffered a lot because of it. I thought I was going to lose everything, and when I thought about it, I thought there was no point in fighting back. I was scared everything would be ripped away from me because of what my parents said. I was scared to lose what I had built for myself.

For a while, I fell into a really bad state of depression." 

I paused for a second, I had never spoke about this to my audience.

"My depression has been bad since I moved to Korea, and I also have super bad anxiety. I often struggle with panic attacks too. When I found out about the accusations, I had run away. I drove myself to a hotel to...end it all, I guess.

I was stupid at the time, and I didn't want to hurt anymore. I had been fighting an invisible battle with my parents the whole time, and I didn't want too anymore.

But I'm grateful to still be here, and there's a person who saved me that night. 

I want to say a massive thank you to HongJoong Hyung. If it wasn't for his visit that night, I don't think I would be here. I struggled a lot throughout the past few weeks, but I don't want sympathy. It was my problem to deal with, and although I couldn't deal with it properly at first, I want you to know I'm happy finally, and I'm not scared anymore.

I won. 

So, I'll continue writing songs, and continue producing. I will rap better and sing better for you all. I will be a better version of myself and most importantly, I'll get the help I need to be better because I can't do it alone.

I hope that...If anyone else is struggling, you can use me as a prime example that things can get better if you push through it and if you lean on someone you trust. It might be a dark narrow tunnel, but you have to push through. 

You will find the happiness after you give yourself a chance.

I love you Stay. I love everyone who stood by me and fought for me. Now, it's my time to fight for you. I love you, fighting!"

And that was it, I smiled at the camera and stood up to stop the recording. I sighed as I walked out of the room, the big camera resting in my hand, and I handed it back to JYP to look at and watch before he posts the statement. He thanked me, and I drove home, a small smile at my lips.

I was ready to be happy again. I was ready to stop fighting, and start to just live again. 

I was driving fast down the roads, and the dorms were in sight now. I smiled wide as Seungmin was outside the doors to our building with a cap on. I got out of my car and jogged towards him. He had a big smile on his face as I crashed into his arms. 

"I love you."

"I love you Kiba."

I kissed him, hard.