The Four

Chapter 35

The ball had been fucking great. Mike and I had actually danced, and it was great. I stayed with Eric that night and it was; like always, fucking magical.

I woke up later that evening, in the middle of the night, and I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep right now. I stood up and grabbed a shirt of Eric's before I walked down towards the library. I chose out some books, before laying down on the couch with a blanket and I read through the book. After a while, I heard some movement and I looked up and I froze for a second as I saw that Matt was looking at the books here. He didn't see me here, because I was hidden under the blanket. I observed as he grabbed some books from the section that he never got something from; it was as if he was choosing books for me. After a while, he looked away from the books, as if he could feel me staring at him. He slowly turned his head and his eyes met mine.

"I didn't know you were here." Matt said carefully and I stared at him as he walked up towards the table to put the books down, as they were heavy probably.

My heart beat out of my chest, I didn't know how to really respond to any of this right now. So I decided to just ignore it and I looked back at the book. But Matt didn't allow me to ignore it.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked and I decided not to respond to that. So after about thirty seconds, Matt sat on the other couch and grabbed a blanket and laid there and read.

After a while though, the emotions took control and I started to cry, before I started to sob.

My whole body longed to go towards him and cuddle up to him, but he had to do more than choose books out that I might read. I couldn't forgive him. He did something unforgivable; he told me he'd never hurt me like that.

Matt stood up though and wanted to touch me, as he leaned down, but I turned around and shoved him away with my knee.

"Don't touch me." I stammered as I covered my face with the covers.

"Let me hold you please?" He breathed, and it was a plea. He needed it just as much as I did. But I didn't want this.

"Please don't." I whimpered. "Please, just leave me alone."

"I'm never going to leave you alone. I'll stay seated here and I won't touch you, but I won't let you alone." He said and he didn't understand; he was the reason why I was upset. Or he knew, and he wanted to suffer while watching me suffer. I had no idea. But I just wanted him to leave.

"Please don't. I just want Mikey." I whispered softly. "Please get Mikey. If you want to help me." I said through my sobs. "Just get Mikey."

He stood up and I could hear he was annoyed, and that was confirmed with a door that was smashed and my whole body shook at that. About five minutes later, I heard the door opening again.

"Yeah, I kept my distance. When she started to cry, I wanted to soothe her, but she needed you." Matt said with a voice that I didn't recognise; I didn't recognise my Matt and that upset me even more.

"Cool. You can go now." Mike said cooly and I felt him sitting and I turned around and hurried my head in his legs right away. "It's ok. I got you." He whispered as he put a kiss on my head and rubbed my head. "Matt, I think you should leave now."

"But-"

"Matt please." Mike said in his king voice. "Leave. It's better for her if you leave."

I then heard the door being smashed again and that turned my crying into sobbing. "He's not angry at you, he's angry at himself. He hates himself for what he did and wants to do whatever he can to help you, he doesn't seem to understand that giving you some distance helps you. I'm sorry about that."