Element of the Heart - A Lord of the Rings/Legolas Fanfiction

Chapter 37: The Greater Risk

Legolas stood in the fields directly outside of the city. He had left his swords behind, though he was still armed with his bow. Bending down, he picked up a smooth stone that was formerly hidden in the grass. It was similar to the one Aragorn had used while trying to help him understand Estelwen. He closed his eyes. Why is she avoiding me?

He did not want to admit it, but he was afraid and hated himself for it. He had pushed it down for days as he thought of other reasons why Estelwen was acting so strangly. Legolas closed his eyes, allowing the thought to surface like a whip. Was it what his kiss had shown her?

Meanwhile, Estelwen walked out through the gates, bracing herself for the worst. She could not deny Legolas an explanation for her actions. Yet, she knew he would not understand her reasons. His love for her would not allow him to see that there would be another, that there must be another for him. She could not be the woman he deserved. On the other hand, the people of Middle Earth deserved to be avenged, for justice to be done. And that was a justice only she could bring. Estelwen stopped in front of him, preparing herself to say what must be said.

But Legolas spoke first, changing everything. "Have you been avoiding me so you would not have to say that the way I feel...that it is not the same for you?" He had asked with such gentleness and openness that Estelwen's heart beat furiously in her chest. Legolas gently took one of her hands into his. "I am not angry with you. That would be for the young and foolish."

Estelwen swallowed. His kindness was making everything so much harder, but it made her realize the truth: it was better for him not to know how she felt, than for him to be lulled into a dream that could not be. "I..." She could not bring herself to say it, to agree to what he was saying.

Legolas slowly stood up. Then it is as I thought. "I understand." He returned inside the city walls.

Estelwen sank to her knees and buried her head into her hands. A tear slid down her cheek and was quickly wiped away. No, this was for the best. And she could no longer avoid Legolas; he needed to believe that her lack of feelings for him was what caused her to avoid him in the first place. But it was hard playing the part, and it was killing her inside.

At lunch in the Hall, Éowyn smiled at her. "How has your day been?"

Estelwen caught the hint of tease in her voice. Éowyn had probably assumed the best after watching her duel with Legolas. "It has been fine, thank you." She added a polite smile to show that she did not mean to be rude by her hasty answer. She bit her lip, holding back a sigh. Perhaps toying with her swords would calm her nerves. She wished she could work with her element instead, but she still wanted to heed Théoden's words about worrying his people.

After fetching her swords, she headed towards an open area. Théoden stopped her on her way. "Estelwen, I have thought about what you said earlier."

"Forgive me, I do not remember..."

"Pertaining to the Black Arrows."

Estelwen chided herself. She had not given the Arrow much thought since after her capture. Besides, she did not have it anymore. Anorath must have taken it back. She was suddenly infuriated that it had happened. The Black Arrow was reunited with its master.

Théoden regarded her carefully. "Isildur being killed by one of them was not a legend started by my people. It was told by a traveler who heard it from Rivendell. If anyone knows whether it be truth or fisherman's folly, it would be the Lord of Rivendell."

Estelwen's hopes were dashed. Little chance of finding that out now. She thanked him and continued out of the city onto a grassy field.

Legolas was also there, causing her to freeze before reminding herself that there was no reason to. She unsheathed her right sword and watched the sunlight glint off the elvish steel. Legolas looked her way.