My First Love

Sir Chocolate

"Where's Drew?" Joseph asked as I was sweeping the floor. It'd been over an hour since we'd started cleaning up and I still wasn't even halfway finished cleaning.  "Um he's upstairs asleep."  I tell Joseph. Joseph sighs.

"Is he drunk?"  he wants to know. I nod.  I'm surprised you didn't notice my change in clothes.  I say. After our hug, Drew kind of barfed on me. It was gross but sweet at the same time. Don't ask me why, it just was. He kept apologizing over and over again even as he drifted off to sleep in my bed. Joseph just shook his head.  "He was never able to hold liquor even in high school, he was the one who always got drunk first."

 "Are you finished cleaning?"  I question.

 "Yeah,"  he replies.

 "Great. So you give me the hard room. Help me. Now."  I hand him a garbage bag and we get to it. We don't talk much which is strange because a couple years ago we couldn't be in the same room for minutes without either arguing or goofing off.

    Hours later, Joseph is passed out on the couch and the house is clean. It's as if the party never happened. Part of me is glad. I want to forget the whole conversation between Mason, Drew, and I. I almost forget that Drew's in my room until I turn on the light and see him laying across the end of my bed. He's breathing softly and his mouth is open. Drew never snored. Not even when we were kids. Instead he breathed in and out like a newborn baby. He still does to this day.

    He shouldn't be in my room and I know this. I know that I have a boyfriend but I want him here and I can't lie to myself. Instead of laying right side up on the bed, I lay sideways across the bed just to be sure I don't kick him in my sleep. I lie stiffly next to him. If it were 3 years ago, I would've been thrilled to be lying in a bed next to him and I still was but things were different now. He'd ruined it after he went off to college, I'd ruined it and there was no changing that. Plus I had Mason now. I couldn't just break up with him because my first love was back. And truth was, I didn't want to break up with Mason because I loved him. I really did. Not in the way I loved Drew though. Drew was the love I'd never get over. A part of me would always love him. And I couldn't change that. I was tired of thinking about it. I was exhausted. I closed my eyes.

     "Sky,"  I heard him say. His breath warm on my face. It smelled like beer. I opened my eyes. He was sitting up looking down at me. It was bright outside. How long had we been sleep because it seemed like I'd just closed my eyes. I sit up.

 "I didn't mean to stand you up the day. And I didn't mean to not call you for a week. Things were complicated." he confesses.

 "So complicated that you couldn t make time for me?"

 "Sky--"

 "What?!"

 "I had to go see someone and I was just really pissed off. I didn t want you seeing me like that."

 "Drew, it was two years ago. I'm over it, I've moved on."  I lie.

 "But I haven't." he admits.

    I don't say anything.  "But Sky, even if you don't love me anymore, you still shouldn t play with that guy's heart".

 "His name is MASON and I love him."

 "You love him alright! Like you used to love your teddy bear Sir Chocolate."

 You don't know what you're talking about.  But he did. And I knew it. Mason was my Sir Chocolate &  before I know it, I'm thinking back to when I was 6. The year my dad bought me that bear.