For What It's Worth

Chapter Twenty Seven : She Used To Be Mine

S H E U S E D T O B E M I N E

Thomas

We've spent the majority of the evening sat around a long table, served various dishes of tiny portions of food and getting myself through bearable small talk with guests I haven't met before.

Other than the argument during golf, earlier today, my time here has been more enjoyable than I ever expected. It's actually been refreshing to get out of my little box and routine and spend some time with my family. I suppose that means that Isabelle was right all along.

At the end of the meal, myself and Elliot are the first to leave. We exit out of the back of the grand building, taking a stroll across the huge green. Elliot takes quick puffs of his vape as we make our way around.

"I told Lexie I was going to stop." He announces after a few minutes of silence. "Which I will do, especially if we're actually thinking of settling down."

"Are you nervous about the proposal?" I question quietly, despite no one being around.

"I wouldn't say I'm nervous but I'm anticipating it more and more the closer it gets. I just really hope that she won't see it coming." He lets out a puff of air. "I never answered your question about whether I was ready for a baby."

"Are you?" I plug my hands into the pockets of my trousers, looking at him for a response.

"Well the truth is, I don't think anyone is truly ready for a baby. Financially, we are pretty set but other than money you can't be prepared for a kid." He explains.

"But is it in your plan?"

"Oh yeah, one day. Definitely. Is it not in yours?"

"I mean, not anytime soon but I'd say it is." I throw him a smile as we turn to head towards the venue.

On the way back, my attention averts to a familiar blonde head sitting alone. It's Mom. She's sat out on the little patio, basking in the golden sunset. A glass of white wine sits on a small table.

I gesture my head to Elliot and he nods as I go to join her. Quietly, I come up behind her.

"Can I sit down?" I keep my voice low so I don't startle her.

"Oh, of course honey." She glances over her shoulder to look up at me with a smile. I draw the nearest chair up next to where she's sitting.

She doesn't look at me. She focuses on the sun that bronzes the tan on her skin. I look away, following her gaze. We spend a few moments in silence, watching the sun fall beneath the trees that subtly wave along the horizon line. She takes a long sip from her wine which she struggles to swallow.

"I didn't think this was going to be this hard." Her voice breaks and when the light casts over her, I catch the sight of a tear in her blue eyes. She ducks her head down, catching it in her hands. She sniffs, wiping the tears that spill down her freckled cheeks.

"Mom." I quietly console her.

"We had everything in the world that we wanted. Everything that we needed. So how was I still not good enough?" I move over, scooping her up into a big hug.

"You are. You are good enough. Good enough and more." I comfort her, rocking us side to side.

I've never seen my Mom cry. I used to hear her sometimes when she would go into the bathroom or her bedroom. She would never be upset in front of us out of fear that we'd see that something was wrong.

"He was wrong. It was never about you, Mom. He lost the greatest thing he'll ever have. That's where it went wrong." We sit for a few more minutes, huddled up in the cooling evening. Eventually, she draws back and blinks a few times as I straighten out.