The Art Of Having No Idea ~ Harry Lewis

~ SIXTEEN ~

T/W- Talks of self injury/ending own life. This is a topic that's talked about whilst on the LW set, from an article that is real from around the time this chapter is set.

Please reach out to anyone, whether that be friends, family, professional help or even a stranger. If you have any self injurious feelings or suicidal thoughts and would like to talk to someone who won't have a pre judgemental idea of your life, then my inbox is always open for a chat.❤️

(This is my first time doing a trigger warning, so if I have done this wrong then please reach out and let me know the correct way to go about this, or if I have missed any information. Thank you. )

Thursday 5th September 2019

The past week flew by, a few meetings with my manager to prepare for returning to Loose Women. I also spent multiple hours going through the designs for the student accommodation that I'm developing. On top of that, I was filming for the weeks vlog with Harper, getting Cormac's school stuff ready, and spending time with Harry.

Most of the time spent with him was after he had finished a day of filming with the lads. Their schedules have become busier, with pre-filming videos for the Sidemen, and their own channels. Well apart from Harry's personal channel, as he's said that he's struggling with making content for it.

Personally, I just think that he needs to believe in himself more, believe that his fans will love any video he puts out, even if it is a 'stinker' as he calls them. But, I'm positive that he'll get there in the end.

The time we've spent together has brought us closer, although there is still so much to learn about eachother, we've already learnt a huge amount. Plus, just being able to spend an evening talking to someone with no worries is exactly what I've been needing.

But I worry about it all going wrong... Because let's be honest, a large amount of my relationships, whether they are romantic or friendships I don't have the best record.

I'm pulled from my thoughts at the sound of my morning alarm going off. The first day back at school for Cormac and the first day back to the LW studio for me, so it's no surprise that I woke up before my alarm. I pick up my phone from the bedside table, sliding my thumb across the screen to turn the alarm off and see that it's 6:30am.

The next 30 minutes are spent showering, throwing on joggers and a jumper and drying my hair. I don't have to put effort into how I look as that all gets sorted at the studio by the behind the scenes team.

After drying my hair, I make my way to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast and to prepare lunch for Cor to take to school with him. He likes to change between packed lunches and school lunches, but for the most part he usually takes a packed lunch.

The time before getting ready to do a school run always seems to go by stupidly fast, but I was determined to get the first day off to a good start.

Jogging up the stairs to Cormac's room, desperately trying to control my breathing as I go to wake him up. He's half off the bed, soft snores coming from him and his curls wildly sticking up in direction.

I move him back on to the bed before taking a seat on the edge of it, and rubbing his arm gently to wake him.

"Cormac sweetie, it's time to wake up." His eyes fluttered open, squinting slightly at the light in the room.

"Nooo, I don't want to." I laughed slightly, still rubbing his arm.

"Come on, you need to get ready for school. Need to get your uniform on and have breakfast." After another ten minutes of encouraging him to get out of bed, he was pushing me from the room so that he could get ready. Mr independent already.