I Am Not My Skin [ UNDER EDITING ]

Chapter 20:

After what had happened with the Nicole incident I was furious. I couldn't believe that we now have to face racism at work too, and here I thought this was the only place where we could be ourselves and feel the same love and warmth we have always felt.

I could never have imagined Nicole would be one of those people, I guess she was fake after all and her act was one of the best, the best I had ever seen. The hate people carry deep within them was indeed something magnificent.

Imagine walking into your place of work, to a place where you felt was your second home. A place where you meet so many people on a daily basis, you give your all to your work. But in return all you get is nothing but hatred towards you, mocking you and even laughing behind your back. All that from people you actually thought were your friends, some you even regarded as family. The same people who were suppose to treat you with respect, love, and show you that this was indeed a safe haven.

Bob Marley once said. “Until the philosophy which hold one race superior and another interior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned… Everything is war. Me say war. That until they're no longer 1st class and 2nd class citizens of any nation… Until the colour of a man's skin is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes, me say war. That until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race me say war!”

The philosophy of which we now continue to live in until we have decided that enough is enough, no more. NO MORE will we be regarded as 2nd class citizens in a world we have all been put on. In the eyes of God, we are all but the same. He doesn't see colour, to him we are all seen as equal. We are all that he loves, but why as humans do we see colour and immediately we make assumptions?

I am who I am and there is no way I will ever try and be different just because my appearances irritates your soul. No longer will I do as you say and change the way I look, so I have a different hair type, my afro and the softness that comes along with it has never bothered me. My big nose as you put it has never made me feel less beautiful, I love every inch of myself and I always will.

Destiny and I had at least the opportunity to have an honest conversation, she has only been here for a month now and it broke my heart to see how she was being treated. I didn't want her to get the wrong impression and think that this was how we work, and treated each other around here in the hospital. We are all one and our mission was the same. We just wanted to help people and heal them, heal each and every person regardless of their skin colour.

It was nice to get to know Destiny a little better and I felt comfortable to know that there was another person from the African continent. You see, I wasn't born here in the States like Maya and Sam were. I was born in South Africa and when I was 7 years old, my parents decided it was best if we moved due to an opportunity my father had gotten, and a year later my mother fell pregnant with Maya who was now a handful. It was a big adjustment for me to fit in, till this day I somehow don't feel like I belong.

I could never really call this country home, I had an emptiness within my soul not even my mother knew of and I tell her everything. I sometimes wondered what it would be like to move back home. I miss home the most, my real home, my home country.

I took this time to go into the pediatric ward. It lightened my mood to just see the smiles on the little ones faces, there were of course nurses who took care of them round-the-clock. The hopefulness and the joy one could see on their little faces was what I think grown ups needed, the innocence of a child was admirable.

I stood outside the door as I watched how this particular girl was talking to her mother, they had been talking and it was quite interesting to watch. I watched as her mother went and got her a doll out of the toy chest, there were all sorts of toys that made the little ones always go insane, LEGO was what they preferred most. It was very popular in the hospital with the little ones.

I could hear as the little girl kept asking her mother for the other doll and her mother refused to get the doll for her, I didn't want to interfere so I just kept on. "No, Mommy, I want the other doll." The girl protested, her mother I could see as she got irritated, and fair enough she took the doll. But she also took the one which she herself picked out, and went back to the bed of her daughter with, the little girl smiled.

"Okay, honey, now this doll you can't play with." The mother said to the little girl.

"And why not mommy?" The little girl questioned her mother.

"Because, this doll is not for you," she held the doll up, and no surprise, it was the black doll the little girl wanted. She even cried for it but her mother was against it, the mother held both the dolls up in the air and looked at her daughter. The little girl was crying her poor heart out, but before I could do anything I wanted to see where her mother was going with this. As she held both the dolls up, she held the white doll close to her daughter's face and added. "This doll is made for our kind, this is the doll you should always play with okay sweetie, do you see how beautiful her hair is? It's so thin and fine and long and look at those beautiful blue eyes, she also has a cute little nose," she smiled.

Then she held the black doll up as well, she laughed as she scanned the doll and quickly added. "You see this doll, she is so dull, look at how dark she is, her eyes are so dark too. I mean all these people have the same colour and they all even look the same. So it's no surprise when it comes to their toys, and look at her hair, it's so thick and curly. It's like they wanted to give her an afro, and look at how big her nose is, it's disgusting! And not to mention her lips, how would she even eat with such a mouth?" She tossed the doll over to the other side, the doll nearly flew out of the door. I went and picked it up and made my way to the lady with the doll in my hands.

"I couldn't help but overhear the conversation you had with your beautiful daughter and I was wondering, what was so wrong with this doll?" I asked with the doll still in my hands. No, but this doll was dressed as the other dolls, she was in good condition. She was neat, and still looked the same as the day they had bought her.

"Well, it's──you know…" She pointed at me and I could tell what she had in mind.

"What? It's black?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Obviously, I mean I didn't want to offend you or anything." She then said again.

Ah, there is it. "Obviously? I see, and did this beautiful doll bother you so much for you to throw it across the room and to show your child that it's okay to do that? Is the doll so disgusting that you couldn't just put her safely back like you do with all the other toys around here? Oh, I actually mean lighter dolls, is it really a sin for your child to play with this doll? Is this how you want her to view the world, through your eyes?" I rolled my eyes, and took a deep breath.

"The message you are sending out to your daughter is what I fear most. You are showing her that she should only play with her own kind and that it is never accepted for her to play with this beautiful black doll, and you are even teaching her how to discriminate against another human being," I thought for a moment, then added one last time. "Would you rather your child grow up with resentment and hatred towards another human being just because of their skin colour? It is not about the doll but rather about what you are passing on to your own child. You are teaching her that it's okay to be racist. And, instead of teaching her how to hate black people, why not educate her and teach her about love and acceptance. Teach her how to be open-minded and that the world doesn't need to be all about black and white. That in this world we live in, there is no such a thing as the colour of your skin that is what defines you but rather what's inside."