I Am Not My Skin [ UNDER EDITING ]

Author's note.

21:00 — Sunday: 1988.

By the time my mother and I had finished cleaning the dishes, she said a prayer like she'd always done at this hour.

We had just finished with supper and cleaned all the dishes and my mother had said a prayer before we all went to bed like we normally do on a Sunday night. I had finished my homework hours ago and my little brother, Sam was fast asleep in the bed we'd been sharing.

Tonight, like any other night was quiet at this hour. Everyone in our township had gone to bed and every candle in every lamp had been blown out. The streets were eerily calm, and the wind had just picked up.

As always, Sam was tucked under the sheets and fast asleep when I entered the room. I don't know why, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something awful was going to take place tonight. "Dear God, I beg you to please protect my family and keep them safe for harms way," I say a silent prayer to myself in the hopes that God could hear every word and grant me this one wish. Once I finished with my prayer, I thought my heavy heart would feel a little lighter and that this unexplainable feeling would disappear on its own, but it doesn't, and I don't know why.

As I get closer to the bed I startled at the sound of the tree branches creaking against each other. I tell myself to calm down, and that everything was fine; nothing will happen to me or my family. We'll be safe. We'll all be spared tonight.

"Cover me up, Anne, I'm cold," mumbled Sam as I climbed into bed beside him.

"There, there, buddy. It's alright. Go back to sleep," I say, my heart still as heavy as when I first stepped into the room.

For a good hour I had been staring at the ceiling, still praying. The same silence that had engulfed the room was now echoing outside among the creaking tree and the dark UNPAVED road.

Bang! Bang! Bang! I hear a loud knock on our front door, followed by the angry barks of two untamed beasts. "Open the fucking door or we'll knock it down!" Yelled an unfamiliar voice.

There was no need for him to say his name because everyone in the neighborhood already knew who and what they were. Around here, they were known as the men who showed no mercy and they were knocking down my door with all their might.

"This is your last warning, Kaffir! Open the fucking door or we'll break it down!" Came his second command.

In the other room, I can hear my mother begging my father not to go out. She is crying, but not quite as loud; just enough so that it reached my father's ears, and unfortunately, mine, too.

"Don't go, Dawid. They'll kill you out there," Mom whispered between soft sobs.

"I have to, Sienna. It is my duty to serve my country." Dad argues.

"Not when it's at the cost of your children's safety," Mom bites back. "All those men outside care about is misusing you and then after they're done, they'll throw you for the lions to feast on,"

Dad's voice lowers, "you, of all people should know by now that I don't have a choice. I have to go out there and face the music."

"This isn't fair," Mom says, this time, I can hear how she almost chokes on her tears. "Why do we have to live like foreigners in our own country? Why do these things only happen to our people, Dawid?"

"I—"

"Alright. Final warning," I hear a loud bang, and after another, the door finally breaks and the intruders are in our house with their bloodhounds sniffing and growling, ready to attack whomever was in their way. "Come out you fucking Kaffir,"

My knees are too weak to make it to the door to get a closer look at these so-called soldiers and their growling beasts.

"So, it's like that, huh? You want us to fucking wait on your black ass. Well, Mr. Not on my fucking watch." I hear the other angrily say, and a second later, a glass or a plate violently breaks on the floor.

I grip at my chest, feeling how fast my heart was pounding.

"You only have three seconds or else there will be more than just broken glass on your damn floor, you piece of garbage." Threatened the first one.

"Here I am, Baas," Dad said almost shakily, "I apologize for the delay, Baas. I was just bidding my wife farewell, Baas."

"Is that so?" Said the first one, and by the sound of his voice, I could tell he was more interested than what was behind the door my father came out of. "You were just bidding your wife farewell? Where is she? Is she asleep or is she getting ready, if you know what I mean?"

Pig! I cursed.

Dad bites his tongue. "She is in bed, Baas."

"I assume you wouldn't mind if I were to pay her a little visit, would you, Kaffir?"

Not a single word came from Dad's mouth as he heard the man say. "I'll take that as a yes then." The man said again.

I anxiously lay in bed, unsure if I should go out or not as I try to think of a way to stop the man from entering my parents' bedroom.

"Tell them to stop talking so loud, Anne," Sam mumbled again as he turned to his side.