I Am Not My Skin [ UNDER EDITING ]

Chapter 21:

I couldn't bear to allow the lady to poison the mind of her young child like that, but she apologized and she understood that she made a mistake. The long day had finally ended and I got to kick back and relax. I got home and the first thing I saw were the lovely faces of my family, and the feeling of everyone sitting around the table and dining all together. We talked for hours and it felt like the good old days. We all got to share how our day went and like always, little Sam had to show off and he had to outdo us with his over the top stories.

Everyone had gone to bed and the only one that was left was my mom. When I got out of my bedroom to grab a glass of water, I found her sitting in the kitchen with the lights off. She sat in the silence. "Hey mom, can't sleep also?" I asked. It was a little surprising to find my mom awake at this time. Usually, she would just wake for a glass of water or inspect what was making such a noise outside, I guess it was a habit even though there was no one outside.

I think she was just so used to looking over her shoulders that it became like an obsession. My only wish always was for her to open up to me or go and talk to a professional about her problem. To her it was nothing as serious, but her eyes showed so much──the pain, hurt and the fear, those were things she never spoke of. Everyday she would go on and pretend that nothing was wrong.

"No, it's not that, I've just been thinking that's all," she said softly. "You know what Drew? I am saddened and heartbroken with what is going on in the world today. It's just that I thought things would get better in time and with you now all grown, and that maybe──just maybe we would all be seen and treated as equal. I never thought this is how we will all be living, it scares me knowing that with Sam still so small, something someday might happen," she breathes out.

"My baby didn't ask for who and what he is, even Maya and you. You should never be made feeling guilty for the way you look, never. Your skin should never be a factor and be the determination of what you are seen as, you should know this Drew. You are the future and only you can make them see change. I'm afraid for you and what you have to put up with everyday Drew, my darling Drew. I love you so much and there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for you. You and Maya and Sam are my everything. I'd die if anything were to ever happen to you."

My mother stood from the chair and wrapped her arms tightly around my frame and embraced me, I never felt so safe as when I did in her arms. Her hugs were always comforting to me and it made me feel so safe and loved, but this was also the first time I had heard her speak to me in such a way. I saw nothing but fear in her eyes and it scared me, it scared me so much. One of the many things I always admired about her was how strong-willed she was. And how she doesn't just let anything get to her.

"Mom, it pains me so much, everyday I walk out of here and that is the only thing I see. There are times where I just want to curl up and there are times where I just want to end it. I am tired, everyday I have to face these remarks. Everyday I have to go out and think of my siblings, Sam is too young to understand and Maya has already picked it up, she is a warrior mom," I smiled as I thought back to how brave Maya stood in front of those policemen and protested, how she spoke. She made them hear her voice, she was loud and proud and she not only spoke for herself but for thousands as well. She has no idea how much she has done and continue to do, she was a hero without the cape. "And I can see now where she gets it from, you." I smiled only because it was true.

My mother was the strength behind the family, she was always the one to keep reminding us that it didn't matter what you face in life. If you believe hard enough, you will overcome it and all the struggles you face will soon pass. It was only a matter of time, and whenever she has fallen, she always got back up with her head held high.

We both left the kitchen and went back into our bedrooms, I got a good night's rest in and felt at ease when I woke up. The talk I had with my mother last night helped, I looked out of my window and I could see Jamal waving, I waved back, he was happy, he was at peace with himself. He and Maya couldn't hide their feelings any longer, it was only a matter of time before my parents were to find out.

I got a phone call and quickly jumped into the shower, I had no time for breakfast and just rushed out quickly as I jumped into the car. Dr. Nicholson called and apparently there was an emergency at the hospital. If it started out this early I can only imagine what it was about. There was a shooting that happened last night on the news and so many had gotten hurt.

As soon as I stepped foot inside the hospital doors my mind was in a haze, everything was blurry and I could only see as people were being carried inside with stretchers. There were nurses everywhere, I was suddenly dizzy as I saw all the different bodies being carried inside the hospital. I hear someone calling my name, "Drew, Drew," I can still hear them calling, but the voice sounded far off, it was as if it came from a mile away. "Drew! You need to snap out of it and get to work, these patients need your help." I hear as Destiny spoke.

I snapped at the tone of her voice, they didn't even give me a chance to gather my thoughts as I was already helping the patients. I try to picture how it must have felt for them to stand up and make a statement, and hear as they raise their voices and demand freedom and justice. Justice for all and equality for those who deserve it. We were all caged birds and being locked inside the prisons that is our own minds, and they did not care to think for one second what they were doing or how it would affect us in the slightest of ways.