Chapter Nineteen: Thinking and Looking Back

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M A R I N E T T E

  To say the car-ride home was awkward was a very, very big understatement. The silence between all of them was not only uncomfortable, but unsettling.

She knew that her Uncle had never seen her like that, with her defense mode on. He had never seen her fight. He had never witnessed her as Ladybug outside of suit. She knew he was processing her in a different light. Rather than the innocent and defenseless girl he saw her as, he saw a cold, dangerous trained warrior in a dance of battle.

She hadn't ever acted like that around them. Marinette hadn't thought about that then, just the fight in front of her, it was slightly reckless.

Jagged not only looked slightly shaken, as well as a little pale, he looked surprised.  He clearly had expected less. . . unexpecting results.

As she looked over at them in the seat across from her, she noticed a few differences from how they normally acted around her.

They seemed tenser, almost— they seemed distant. Like they needed to keep her at arms length for now.

Like they didn't recognize who was sitting in front of her.

They looked like they saw something crazy.

Somewhere, probably in the back of her mind, Marinette wondered how they would react to seeing actual Akuma battles. The way they actually went.

She hoped they never had to find out.

They looked scared—of who or what, she wasn't sure. Though, there were multiple possible answers to that question.

When the limo stopped, she ran like her life depended on it to her room, only breathing when she had locked the door.

Her breathes were ragged, and each time it seemed harder to get enough oxygen.

She fell onto her bed, not bothering to get under the covers.

She thought back to when she had actually gotten most of her skills in self-defense.

Truth be told, she probably shouldn't be this good at fighting, she had only been fighting Akumas since she was around 13

That was almost five years.

And while Hawkmoth had once sent Akumas right after another once one was defeated,—As a strategy, she had really learned how to fight even when tired, with precision, when she had to unify with the Snake Miraculous.

It had been an Akuma that, oddly enough, constantly switched fighting types. One second they were doing street-fighting tricks, the next plain and simple karate.

She had set her second chance.

It was fine when they failed the first fifty times. She wasn't falling back.

But after the 250th time she was about to collapse.

In the end, though, no one may have remembered, they had spent around three months fighting the Akuma.

If she had calculated correctly.

She had used her second chance so many times, she stopped counting after the 500th time she had to use it.

It was then, that Marinette realized just how important training was.

That was about three years ago.

She had changed.

She had learned.

But most importantly...

She had adapted.

And she would have to continue to do so if she was to save Paris from Hawkmoth's clutches.

And that was exactly what she planned to do, if not for Paris's citizens, then for her.

"Marinette, are you okay?" Tikki's soft voice breaking her from her thoughts.

Marinette sat up and smiled brightly at Tikki.

"Of course," She said kindly.

But her voice broke at the end.

Tikki nuzzled Marinette's cheek.

"Wanna talk about it?" Tikki asked.

Marinette hesitated before slowly shaking her head.

She didn't like talking about herself, it just wasn't something she enjoyed.

Besides, Tikki shouldn't have to worry about her. She should be able to take care of herself.

Truthfully, she was worried her Uncle and Aunt would think differently of her. She was worried that they were scared—of her.

Of course, it wouldn't be so surprising if that did happen. Everyone seemed to be surprising her in unpleasant ways lately.

The knot of worry in her stomach stayed with her as she stayed up all night working on a commission.

She really hoped that she was wrong, she wasn't sure she could handle much more.

She wasn't sure if she could handle family turning their back on her.

She was slowly breaking under the pressure, whether she knew it or not. Each stab in the back left emotional scars on her. Each secret broke her more. She wasn't the innocent girl she used to be.

She didn't feel quite as complete with Tikki. She felt like she needed Tikki, but couldn't help but feel like something was missing.

As she thought this, she suddenly felt a change in her. What it was, she had no clue, but it scared her.

Change wasn't always good.

She hoped it was this time.

She had just finished boning the top half of the design when Tikki woke up.

"Marinette?" She said groggily.

Marinette smiled, Tikki was so cute sometimes. Sometimes, she found it hard to believe she was actually older than she was.

"Good morning," Marinette said.

Tikki stretched and smiled at her in return.

"Oh, I forgot," Tikki said randomly.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what happens when someone gets relatively close to your identity, or has the intent to find Ladybug's identity on an electronic? Well, it seems like someone was looking into you," Tikki explained.

Marinette felt her blood run cold.

Someone had been looking into her.

"Do you know who it was?" Marinette asked.

"Yep, mainly because the magic clogged the device that was used. It was the Bats," Tikki said lightly.

The heroes of Gotham.

Marinette nodded, taking in the information. But one thought ran across her mind.

Why were they looking into me?

Sure, she had done some suspicious stuff last night, but for some reason she doubted that it happened after that.

"When was this?" Marinette asked.

"A week or two ago," Tikki replied sheepishly.

Well, that was a little while ago.

"Umm, okay, I'll have to look into it tomorrow," Marinette said, noting that today, she was busy.

She looked at the time and saw it was 6:30.

"I need to get ready!"

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