FREAK

17. BEYOTCH

CHAWARIN POV

a month after that sudden declaration, after multiple tantrums over yummy fruits, pizza and ice creams that ayberk seems to be too slow to comply, we had announced the great news to his family.

yey

im ecstatic

im excited

im

im

sigh... im scared.

i know that ayberks been too enthusiatic about this but im just so scared. i dont know how to be a sibling in the first place let alone be in-charge of an upbringing of a human being. whatever he/she is.

yes, im freaking out here in our bed at the penthouse. not the thrashy type but just swallowing inside the blanket depressed-like freaking out type.

i dont feel like going to school today and ayberk didnt argued with me about that. instead hes just too happy that im within his reach anytime he wants. whatever. its friday and i dont have saturday classes.

ive put the aircondition to its lowest temperature and it seems like winter here. i cant feel the cold since im all wrapped up. foods always present at our bedside table and water is at a liter. ive been thirsty nowadays i could gulp down a gallon if i was left alone. ill be too cranky if i didnt have anything to munch on. its a mystery im still this thin.

ive been gazing at the view outside our window and its making me wonder how will i do this. ayberks been so supportive and patient and im here being a pain. i dont want to be like this actually but all the worries and fear has been weighing me down. is this normal? am i depressed? or is it just hormones? i dont know anymore.

a classmate from a class yesterday triggered this actually. i didnt tell ayberk or even nat. yes, nats been going to class with me. though hes on different program and classes, he made it to a point where i relied on him all the time. im feeling a bit guilty, though. hes too kind for his own good. hes yi's mate and theyve been too lovey dovey at my face one time. i kicked them out without remorse.

this classmate of mine didnt really like me, like i care, since weve been paired for a classroom activity. im civil to her but all she did was to bat her eyelashes at me. i dont know what shes up to until nat pointed it out to me that she got a thing for me. after that, shes been asking around about me and when she came across a photo of me and ayberk, shes beyond consoling and went crazy on me.

given that im pregnant and none of my classmates knew about that, of course. who would believe that a man would get pregnant, right? youll be whisked away to a laboratory to be dissected for sure. ive been too wary of my surroundings. nat as well. hes been attentive to everything i need to a point where im worried about his grades. but all he said was not to worry since hes been enrolled with a special condition. well, the director being a family seems to be quite an advantage and no one knows about it.

thats why this woman started cat calling us. calling us profanities and even garnered a group to back her up. itll be too lonely not to attend college without a bit of a drama, right? yes, thatll be okay if im not pregnant though and i swear, if theyll even touch me and nat in whatever ways, shell going to get what she deserves.

yesterday though, i was cornered right after the bell rang for the class. a teacher assistant declared that our professor could not make it to the class and were to have a self-study for the upcoming exams.

"well, well, well, fag how are you?" she started as i was pulling out my book to review.

"better if youre not pestering me now, ashley." i smiled bitterly at her. shes pretty and quirky. pretty much cheer leader material. but a total pain in the ass.