Sometimes Love Is Not Enough

Chapter 04

Arnav

When I woke up, Khushi's side of the bed was empty and cold. Like, she was never there in the first place. And that thought alone was enough to jolt me out of my sleep.

I searched the bathroom, the poolside, but she was nowhere to be found. Damn it... Where did she go? Why didn't she say anything? How dare she go without informing me?

I gritted my teeth as I ran my fingers through my hair. Khushi, where are you?...

I dashed downstairs to look for her. But before I saw her, I heard her. Her payal. I glanced around for her, but she was nowhere to be found. At least she's in the house.

I sighed with relief. But I know I shouldn't. I shouldn't be relieved when she's in so much suffering. When she is in pain because of me. Yesterday, I'd seen her face. Her eyes. She was more than suffering, and she was trying to hiding it. She tried to appear strong in front of me. While I was hoping to be someone she could be vulnerable with. And it was all my fault.

"Hariprakash!" I shouted as I walked by the kitchen.
 
"Ji, Bhaiya?" He responded as he dashed from the kitchen before I could enter.
 
"Where's Khushi?" I inquired while a v started to form between my brows.
 
He looked confused by the question but immediately responded, "Bhabhi went to her room."
 
"When?"
 
"A minute ago," he replied.

I took two stairs at a time, frowning, to get to our room. Is she really hiding from me?... What is she? Five years old?
 
I heard the shower running as I entered the room. Seriously, Khushi?... I took a step back and tried to calm myself before almost banging on the door. It's my fault she's behaving like this. It's my fault she's avoiding me. Calm down!... Calm down!... I shouldn't be angry with her. I should give her some space. Also, I should calm myself down.

I stood by the pool, checking the time, waiting for her to come out. Because it's been almost half an hour since she went inside. When I heard her payal, I took a moment and turned around. I sighed with disbelief as I found the room empty. Again. I checked the bathroom, which was also empty. Again.
 
Fine... Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada. Fine. You want to run? Let's see how far you can go.

I had given up hope of seeing her as I neared the door to go jogging. At least not before she wanted me to. But there she was, dressed in red, praying with her eyes closed. I stared at her from my spot by the door, a smile spreading over my lips. She was capable of making me feel so many things all at once when I had no hope left. She made me believe in love and fall in love with her when I had no room in my life for such things.
 
But here I stand, being the sole reason for all her sorrows and all her tears.

*

I returned to our room to find her with her back to me. I stood at the door after closing it and stared at her. I waited for her to look me in the eyes. But she didn't. She continued doing her work without even acknowledging me. That's when I realized how she'd felt since the first day of our marriage. What she felt when no one spoke to her. When no one acknowledged her. When her own sister refused to see her. When I did not acknowledge her. I should have been with her every step of the way. But all I did was abandon her to pay for a crime she never committed.

As guilt started to build up on my chest, I decided to take a shower and then talk to her. Calmly.

 
I looked for her as I made my way downstairs. Again. Where is she this time?... I should have looked in the cupboard.
 
"Nani!" I stopped her on her way upstairs.
 
"Yes, Chote?" 
 
"Have you... Have you seen Khushi?" I asked her, hopefully. Because she is the only one who will know where Khushi is.
 
"She went to see her Bua Ji. She said she'd be back before night." Nani responded. "Go sit down for breakfast. I'll bring Anjali Bitiya."
 
I nodded quietly before joining others at the table and busied myself with my phone.

"Hello-Hi-Bye-Bye! Anjali Bitiya! Come, sit." Mami opened a chair next to her for Di, which was exactly opposite mine. "It's been so long since we all had breakfast together. Ever since the outsiders entered, we have all lost our happiness. Hello-Hi-Bye-Bye!" She said the last sentence with a sidelong glance at Payal.
 
"Manorama!" Nani glared at her as Hariprakash served the breakfast. Which was alu puri.
 
"Good morning, Di."
 
"Good morning, Chote." With a small smile, she spoke slowly.
 
"Nani?" I questioned as I took the first mouthful. "Did you make it?"

While I waited for her response, she just gave me a quiet look, but it was Mami who spoke up, "Hello-Hi-Bye-Bye! Arnav Bitwa. If not Sasuma, then who will make it this delicious?"
 
I nodded but said nothing else. Because I knew exactly who would.

I wanted to come earlier, but I had to go to the office for a meeting and then rush out at lunch to come here since I had another meeting after it. It was about 2 p.m. when I drove to Bua Ji's house. As I pressed the bell, I waited for the door to open.
 
I lightly heard Khushi's voice before she opened the door. She was holding a jalebi, but it fell as soon as she saw me.
 
"Aap?" Her lovely brown eyes expanded as she spoke loudly. I smiled at her reaction, but before I could say anything, Bua Ji too came shouting. But as soon as she noticed me, her face softened.

She pushed Khushi away from the door and gestured for me to enter, which I did with a small smile. As I sat on the sofa, I noticed Khushi picking up the dropped Jalebi and closing the door loudly before walking to the kitchen without looking at me.
 
So, she's not just unhappy with me being here; she's also angry.