Sometimes Love Is Not Enough

Chapter 24

Arnav

She had taken it off.
 
I glanced at her naked neck as her hand groped for her mangalsutra. I was so focused on her that I couldn't hear or see anything else.

She had... Her eyes locked into mine as she turned, and I slightly tilted my head to my side in question, wanting to ask, why?... Why did you do this?... Why are you moving so quickly?... Why aren't you giving me a chance to prove myself? Why?... I wanted to ask her this question, but she quickly turned to Akash and began stepping back while mumbling something. But before I could figure it out, she turned and hurried back into the house.

I was staring at the closed door when I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Akash standing beside me, his face sad.
 
"Let's go."
 
I swallowed before returning my gaze to the door and climbing behind the wheel, with Akash in the passenger seat. I drove above the speed limit in silence, replaying the entire meeting with Khushi in my mind.
 
"I can talk to Khushi further if I don't want to." Akash stated. Why does he think I don't want to talk to her?.. What made him think that?

I gave him a quick glance before returning my attention to the road.

"It's all right. I'll help you. After all, it's all my fault." I said as I placed the back of my fingers over my lips and drove with my left hand.
 
I need to speak to her. I need to know what's going on inside her head. I needed to know.
 
"What do you want to do after talking to Payal?" I inquired as I rolled down the windows and let in the cold air.
 
"I'm not sure. Everything depends on what she says." He responded without even glancing at me.
 
"You should talk to everyone at home about this." I said this as I took a sharp right turn.

He stayed silent for a minute or two before asking, "You think so?"
 
"Most will support you." I responded by pressing the horn a few times. "Except Mami."
 
He nodded softly and said nothing on the way home. I also didn't ask him anything since I had a lot on my plate as an outcome of my own actions.
 
When I stopped the car in front of the front entrance for him to get off, he said while taking the seatbelt aside, "If Maa doesn't accept her or does and says anything like before... then I'll leave the house with Payal... obviously only if she wants me back." I could tell by the look in his eyes that he intended to keep every word.

"You'll do that for her?" I asked quietly, staring at him.
 
He nodded and exited the car.
 
I gave him a little smile as he entered the house and drove ahead to park the car.
 
He's doing the right thing. At least one of us knows how to see beyond our mistakes and make amends.

*

The next afternoon, I parked outside Bua Ji's house and looked at Akash.
 
"Make sure you convince her."
 
"It's not a business deal, Bhai... But I'll give it my all." Before getting out of the car, he said it with a tight smile and took a deep breath.
 
I took another look around the home before exiting and nearing Akash as the door opened.
 
Khushi gave us both a brief glance before stepping aside to allow us to enter. Aren't we here to pick up Payal?

I glanced at her, then back at Akash, confused. Was I missing something? Were we supposed to meet with her family first?...
 
"Payal?" While Khushi closed the door, Akash gazed around the house.
 
"She's in her room. You can go in." She murmured this as she avoided looking at me.
 
"But..." Akash began, but Khushi cut him off by saying, "No one is at home. You are free to go inside and talk."
 
He nodded briefly before stepping right through the door and closing it behind him, leaving Khushi and me in the living room.

I stole a glimpse of her as she stood at least five feet away from me. Her gaze was everywhere but mine. So I took advantage of it and stared at her. I felt a twinge of pain in my chest as I looked at her empty neck.
 
I wanted to ask her why she removed it.... If it were that simple to move on?... But I couldn't. Because I didn't have the courage to hear the answer she'd give. Because...
 
"Arnav ji?" She called me and took a small step forward.

I looked at her in confusion while she also looked at me with confusion with her brows slightly tugging together in the middle.

"Do you want tea?" She asked a little more loudly this time while her lips parted a little as she finished.

"Yeah. Sure." I nodded hurriedly.

She closed her mouth and her lips started curling up on the corner with irritation or anger I wasn't sure, while she stared at me with her beautiful brown eyes for a long moment before saying, "You can sit here." And she turned on her heels and walked to the kitchen.

I obediently followed her orders and went to sit on the sofa while she banged on things and made tea. What did I do now? Why did she suddenly become angry? Another heavy bang came out, followed by faint whispers. Then I heard the stove switch off as I rubbed my face with my hand and took a big breath.
 
I smiled slightly as I heard the sound of her payal nearing. I looked up as she placed the tray on the table in front of me and sat on a single sofa with a cup in her hand after offering mine.

"Why are you here?" she questioned as I took my first taste. "I'm sure Jijaji can definitely travel by himself."
 
I swallowed quickly before looking at her, but she was already looking at me.
 
"I wanted to apologize to Payal." I responded.
 
She nodded slowly, her gaze shifting away from me, and she sipped her tea, frowning down at it.
 
I followed her gaze at the cup, then back at her before saying, "And I wanted to talk to you."
 
She stilled for a moment before turning at me and asking, "About what?"
 
I set my cup on the table and turned to face her before saying, "About us."

"There was never a us.... But if you want to talk about the time we were forced to spend during our contract marriage, I don't want to hear anything," she sipped from her cup. "I've already moved on from that."
 
"Is that why you took off your mangalsutra? Because you've moved on?" The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.

As soon as I finished, she sharply turned to face me. I noticed her lips trembling slightly just before she pulled them into a thin line and inhaled deeply before replying, "I took it off because there is no need to pretend anymore... Because we were never actually married."
 
"And what about our feelings?"
 
"I have already told you how I feel about you." She was staring out the window.
 
"That you love me." I locked my gaze on her as she exhaled heavily.

"That I regret falling in love with you."
 
I closed my eyes as soon as they left her lips and exhaled quietly before returning my gaze to her.
 
"But I love you." I murmured softly, pleading with her to at least look at me.
 
"I've already told you this. But I'm going to repeat it one more time." She looked me in the eyes before continuing, "Love will never be enough for our relationship..."
 
"Tell me then. Tell me what will be enough for us to be together. I'll do everything." I replied as I held her hand in mine and pleaded with her.

She stared at our hands for a bit before blinking a few times and saying, "You can't just change overnight... But even if you did, even if there's anything enough for us to be together... I'm not going to accept you. Ever."
 
I locked my gaze on her as she gazed out the window.
 
"Why?" As I asked, my voice broke.

"Because with you... I can never be the old Khushi." She finally looked at me. Her eyes were glistening with tears. "I can never be me again. Because I... I feel suffocated with you. I feel trapped."
 
I let go of her hands and sat there silently for a long time, not looking at her.
 
I broke her... I... I shattered her... She feels trapped with me...