Sometimes Love Is Not Enough

Chapter 12

Arnav

She's holding onto it. And I can't even complain or ask to find out why. Because she was right with all that she said. Every single word of it.
 
I sat in the dimly lit living room, my laptop on my lap, staring into a dark corner while Khushi's words played in my ears.
 
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to concentrate on my work. I opened my eyes and took a file to study, but her words echoed in my ears, and her tear-filled eyes flashed across my mind. I dropped the file onto my laptop and rubbed my face before leaning back on my sofa's backrest.

"Chote?" Di's concerned voice reached my ears quietly. I sat upright before twisting on my seat to glance over my shoulder.
 
Di moved over to my right and sat on a sofa.
 
"Di, why are you up?" I asked quietly while checking the time on my laptop.
 
"I wasn't feeling sleepy. But... Why aren't you sleeping?" She inquired while gazing down at my laptop and then back at me.
 
'I had some work to do." I shifted my gaze away from her and reopened the previous file.

"You know, Chote, you still can't look me in the eyes when you're lying." With a little smile, Di placed her hand in mine. "What exactly happened?"
 
"Nothing, Di." I lied. Because she already feels upset and hurt. The last thing I'd want is for her to be concerned about my personal problems.
 
She stayed silent for a moment before pulling her hand away from mine and saying, "You've changed a lot, Chote... You never lied to me before. But you do now."
 
"It's nothing like that, Di. Believe me."
 
"We used to be really close. But now... now you have a wife. You have to give her time. So you completely forgot about your Di." Di's eyes welled up with tears.

"How can you say this, Di? You already know how much I love you. How much I care for you. You mean everything to me." I stated this as I placed my laptop on the center table and took her in my arms. "And what does Khushi have to do with anything?"
 
"You know how much has changed since then. You no longer come to see me like you used to. And... I'm not holding Khushi Ji responsible. It's... It's just that your priorities have shifted. She is now more important to you. She's..."
 
"Di... nothing has changed... Look at me." I said. "You are and will always be my first priority."
 
"Chote... It's all right. It's normal to have love for someone other than your Di. It's..." Di sobbed with a sad smile.

"Di, I didn't marry Khushi because I loved her." I interrupted. "I married her because I thought she was having an affair with Shyam. But it was all a lie... I married her in order to protect you. Your child." Di looked at me in surprise.
 
"Then don't you love her?" She inquired, her gaze fixed on mine.
 
I nodded before saying, "And it feels exactly like you told me it would... I can't breathe without her. I can't think of living without her."

She smiled at me and tenderly stroked my cheek before stating, "I'm sorry, Chote. I wasn't upset with Khushi Ji. I was just feeling distant from you. That's why I said what I did... You know how much I like her na?"
 
"I know." I nodded my head and hugged her as I realized that people understand if you want to make them understand. And if you speak from the bottom of your heart, they will.
 
I let go of her and smiled as I rushed upstairs. I closed the door behind me and headed to the center of the room, where I saw her by the pool. She sat there, looking up at the stars.

"Khushi?" I called her, but she remained still. After some time, which felt like a while, she stood up and looked up at the sky again. I followed her eyes, but she turned before I could see anything. I fixed my eyes on her while she fixed her gaze on the ground. Instead of looking at me, she started to walk past me.

I stopped her gently by gripping her hand, and she turned to face me. Her eyes were slightly swollen and red. She was crying... That made my chest and throat clench. So I took a step closer to her and wrapped my arms around her in an embrace. For a brief moment, I feared that she wouldn't return my hug. She'll shove me away. But then she slowly set her arms around me, and I tightened my arms around her, buried my face in the crock of her neck, and closed my eyes.
 
We stayed in each other's arms for a while before she began to move her hands away, and the hug was broken.

"I'm sorry, Khushi. I'm sorry for everything." I said this as I held her hands in mine and looked her in the eyes.
 
"We... we should go to sleep now." She began to draw her hand away from mine.
 
"Khushi... Please. Please forgive me. I am sorry... I apologize for every mistake. Every tear... I'm sorry for everything." I pleaded as my voice broke.
 
She closed her eyes and looked down at our hands before saying, "It's too late now... It's too late." She opened her eyes and shook her head before looking up at me. "Too late for this."

"Khushi..." I said her name like a plea.
 
She took a step back after pulling her hands away from mine.
 
"I will never again hurt you. Khushi, I promise. I swear... Please." I moved closer to her since I couldn't understand what she was saying. What was it that was too late? But she cried and shook her head.
 
"I told you, Arnav Ji, it's... It's too late now." She pointed out this as she moved by me and came to a halt beside the recliner, her back to me.
 
"It was you, Khushi, who always said it's never too late if there's love. If..." I reasoned.

"It doesn't really matter. It..." Her shoulders shook as she interrupted. She's crying again... Why are you saying things that are hurtful to yourself, Khushi? Why?
 
"We love each other, and it matters more than anything." I said this as I turned her to face me. But she pushed past me and turned to face the door to the room.
 
"Khushi, I love you... and I know you love me as well." I went on since I didn't understand why she was saying such things. Why she was...
 
"Sometimes... love is not enough." She said this as she turned to face me. Her lips quiver as she continues, "And in our case... it will never be enough."