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Beverly Hills, CA Wednesday 3/10/23 Ko'tavia Morris
"YOU SO FUCKIN' weird." Nori angrily chuckled, packing all of her stuff into boxes. Tavia just stood there with a blank face and watched her pack her bags, trying to hide her hurt. "I'm weird how? For being affected by his death..?"
"No you're weird because I fucking needed you too. You said you were on your way to come to me and never did. Then when I come here you're cuddled up with San! You ain't come and grieve with me you went to his ass. When I fucking needed you yo." Nori sniffled, quickly wiping her face. Crying was a weakness for her.
"You were literally with Caysee and the others. I was on my way to you! I had a fucking melt down and panic attack in the bathroom. Then as I was trying to get myself together, San showed up. And I just lost it in his arms." Tav tried to explain but Nori didn't want to hear any of it.
"Well if you would've fucking listened to me or even cared about how I felt, you would know Caysee and the boys left me too! I was in that house alone and isolated with my own thoughts. Hoping you would hurry, I'm waiting for your ass to come over like you said you would. And when you didn't show up I got so worried. Because I know how you get. So I came over here,"
Her voice cracked as she tried to finish the rest. "And I'm walking in just chanting to myself 'she's okay, nothings wrong.' 'She quit the pills years ago..' I was so fucking worried about you bro!? So imagine how I felt walking in here and seeing you cuddled up with ya' nigga? When you swore you were on your fucking way to Caysee's. You completely fucking forgot about me."
"And I've never done that shit to you."
Tav stayed quiet and wrapped her arms into her sweater. Now she felt like the bad guy and couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Yea now you're quiet.. I'm so over this with you." Nori mumbled and slammed the picture of them that was hanging on the wall to the floor.
Their eighth grade picture. Nori was kissing Tav on the cheek and Tav was smiling with blue teeth due to all the jolly rancher's she had.
The glass of the frame broke and she took the picture out, ripping it in half.
It broke Tavia's heart, but what hurt even more is that Nori broke every other picture of them that was in the house.
Every single picture she ripped in half, she took the half with her face on it and packed it in her suitcase.
Ko'tavia silently cried and watched her sister walk away from her with no regrets.
'How did it come down to this?'
That'sthe only thing that was running through her head. It seemed like everything she did caused someone to hate her.
First Beezy, now Nori.. Maybe she would do it to San one day too. She was starting to realize that the problem was her.
Always has been. No matter how hard she tried to make everyone else happy it never worked.
She knew her separation anxiety would be torture for these next few months. She lost Beezy and Nori.
The people she was mainly attached to. Both gone, same exact week. She almost didn't even realize the tears rolling down her face, it was the least of her concerns.
"F..fuck I need my anxiety pills." She sobbed and forced her body to move toward the bathroom. She went through her pill cabinet and hurriedly searched for her anxiety pills.
She felt a panic attack closing in on her and she accidentally knocked half of the pills down.
"Fuck."
At this point, she didn't give a fuck about the anxiety pills anymore. Picking up a random bottle, she opened the lid without even reading the label.
She popped about 4 of them into her mouth and grabbed the nearest water bottle, chugging it down.
It was only 15 minutes after the effects started kicking in that she read the label.. because this feeling was almost foreign.
A feeling she hasn't felt in a long time, almost as if she took
"Xanax?"
Her heart dropped and she felt her head pounding. As if something inside of it was trying to escape. Her breathing was getting faster and becoming more of gasps.
She felt like someone was slowly sitting on her chest, stopping her from taking full breaths.
The only thing she could think of was to call San. He only left this morning to go handle some business but he hasn't contacted her since.
Dialing his number she prayed to god he would pick up. Being so drugged out she didn't even think to call for an ambulance.
On the fourth ring he picked up, slight annoyance in his tone. "What's up Tav?"
"S..San I need help." She slurred, slightly wheezing and feeling her breathing become more restricted.
"The fuck? What's wrong baby, what's going on?" His tone completely changed as he stopped everything he was doing.
"Xanax. Can't breathe, please hel-"
She broke out into a fit of coughing and started gagging.
"I'm on my way mama, stay on the phone please. I'm on my way I promise." San rushed to his car and drove as quickly as he could. He even ran some lights.
"Mama keep talking to me if you can, please."
"C..can't talk much San. Gotta throw up hold on." She gagged, and he could hear liquid spilling through the phone.
"Are you laying on yo back Tav?" He asked.
"Yes. Can't get up, legs numb."
"Fuck. You shouldn't be on your back Ko'tavia. Sit up, can you do that for me ma?"
She slowly rose her body and tried to sit up but couldn't. She slammed back against the marble floor hard.
Her head pounded even more now.
"O..ouch." she shrieked in pain and he heard a bang.
"Tav what just happened?"
...
"Tavia! Fucking answer me cuh. Fuck goin on???"
...
"Ko'tavia baby pleas-"
That was all she heard before sleep took over her body. She blacked out.
