𝐔𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 - ☆ 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥 kaulitz

Darkside of the world.

I rot in my bed as the world outside crumbles apart because of so much evil, and I'm one of the evil and I hate my self since that night, it keeps replaying in my head as the huge flashlight takes a picture of me, blood all over me,bill looked proud. It's been weeks and I still haven't moved an inch, it just feels like I'm still suck in that situation, it haunts me and it's torturing me.

"Mara" Gustav walk in my room placing dinner on the little desk beside's my bed, "mhmm" I said still in place looking at the ceiling,  "bill is getting mad and worried" he sighs sitting on my bed, "well tell him to suck my dick" I laugh out loud but I didn't find it funny, I was laughing my pain out. "Bill is gonna come see you" Gustav said making my heart drop, "no" I whisper weakly, I even cancelled on my best friends telling them a lie so they don't come because I know they would make me tell the truth, and I can't keep secrets from them. "Okay I will try my best for bill not to come, please eat" Gustav said worried, I look at him as he glares at me. "Look I'm eating"I groan taking the plate seeing pasta, I take some bites as Gustav nodded walking out, I spit the pasta back out onto the place placing it back to its place and then I blob back down to my old position.

Flash back

"Mara you can do this you hear me" bill whispers as he handed me a gun, it's my first time holding it. My weak hands shake at the wight of the gun , my body trembles and my mind is blank. I watch the old man sleeping in the alleyway knowing it's his last minute's on earth. That can be someone's dad,uncle,son and more. "You can do this" bill kisses me giving me the courage, I ran into the ally way as bill stays in his place.

"Get up now!" I scream at him, he wakes up as his eyes look at the gun pointing right at him, he gets up as his body shakes from fear making my heart break even more, "I'm so fucking sorry" I said closing my eyes ready to pull the trigger, "please no, I have a daughter, she is waiting for her dad to come back" he cried making me cry more, "what are you waiting for Mara" bill screams from the other side making me more stressed.

I look into his deep blue glossy eyes making it harder, "I'm so sorry" I close my eyes pulling the trigger , everything went blank and then silent after, I open my eyes seeing the horror I caused this poor man, his head wide open exposing his brains and one eye ball popping out of his head, my stomach couldn't handle it, I turn and start to vomit as I smell his blood on me, it's like I showered in his blood and now it's gonna be tattooed on me for the rest of my life. "You did good Mara now take a picture darling" bill said proudly . I wanted to get this over with so I stand next to his dead body putting on my hood and scarf around my face only exposing my eyes and bits and drops of his blood on my face , the flash hits my eyes making me squint my eyes. "Okay let's go now" bill chuckles. "We are not leaving him here he doesn't deserve this bill" I said looking at his body , his daughter, is waiting for him but he is dead and that's because of me, it hit me hard like a rock thinking about his daughter waiting for him but she will never see him again. "What the fuck is wrong with you Mara!" Bill panics as I try to breath in air but it feels like Someone is strangling me, bill picked me up dragging me to his car as we heard police driving around, someone probably reported a gun shot. I sit the back of his car as I choke on my own tears, "here" bill said handing me a water bottle, I took it and drank all of it.

"You good now?" Bill smiles as he drives, how can he smile right now. "Fuck you" I scream hitting his seat, he parks in front of my house. "What's wrong?" He asks now with an angry tone. "I hate you!" I scream walking out of the car slamming it, bill drove off and I'm glad because I will throw up if I see his face.

I sneak through the window, my blood coated hands and red finger on my window, I walk to the bathroom taking off my clothes turning on the shower walking in not caring if it's cold or hot, the water is cold making me shiver and cry as I watch the blood wash away, "fuck" I cry as I replay the whole thing.

"I didn't do the right thing" I cried.

End of flash back.