Chapter 13: A Handful of Apologies
Chresanto
It takes me time to register her answer. “Yes?”
She nods slowly, more tears slowly streaming down her face. I shakily slide the ring that belonged to my mother and I get up and hug her. “Stop that,” I whisper in her ear. “What are you crying for?”
Her arms wrap tightly around my neck and she holds me for the longest. I’m so engulfed in her that I forget we’re in a restaurant- the applause around us brings me back. I take my seat back next to her, looking at her with wide eyes. I don’t even know what to do now. I didn’t really have a plan after this…
She looks at me and I wipe the tears off her face with my thumb. My heart is still racing and I don’t know what to say. Princeton calls for the check and we leave.
In the car, things are as awkward as ever. Well, for Mel and I at least. We’re sitting in the back with Christina while Princeton drives and Isabella occupies the passenger seat. We haven’t said anything to each other since dinner, and we’re quiet the entire way home. I don’t know what it is ._.
We pull up to the house and file in. When we get upstairs, Melanie peels out of her clothes and I do the same. We both crawl into bed and face opposite directions. This is killing me. I want to say something but this is the first time I’ve actually ever been completely speechless.
“Chresanto.” She says finally breaking the awkward silence between us both. I turn around and so does she. “You proposed to me.”
I bite my lower lip. “I did.”
She lets out a deep breath. “I love you so much, you know? That’s the only reason I said yes. I love you.”
“I know you do.” I smile.
“I don’t wanna be scared of you.”
“I know you don’t.” I draw her in to kiss her. Her arms wrap around my neck and she kisses me harder.
“But I am.” She says against my lips and I hear her voice quivering. “I’m sorry. I really, really don’t want to, but I just am and you don’t deserve that.” She wipes her eyes.
“Melanie, baby,-“
“No. Don’t ‘Melanie baby’ me. You know it’s true.”
“What are you saying? Are you taking back your yes? What are you trying to tell me right now?”
“No, I’m not. I’m just making sure you know what you’re getting into, trying to do this with me. I’ll be a terrible wife.”
“No, you won’t. You’re perfect.”
“I’m not-“
“Let me finish. You’re perfect, babe. And you’re right- I don’t deserve you. And I wouldn’t jump into anything without knowing what I’m getting into. I know you, and I know what we’ve been through and I know how you feel about all this and it’s ok for you to be scared, Mel. I know I’ve given you plenty of reason to be. But I love you and I’m not just gonna give up.”
She gives me a half smile and then takes another deep breath and wipes her face again.
“Please stop crying.”
“Sorry.”
“And stop apologizing.”
She finally laughs. “Sorry.”
I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her up against me. “I hate seeing my fiancé cry.”
She laughs again and kisses me. “I hate crying in front of my fiancé.”
