The Secret I Tried to Keep

Chapter 33

I opened the door and smiled as I let Tyler in. he was dressed for comfort too, in a pair of gray joggers and a simple t-shirt and sweater.

"Hey," he greeted me as he gave me a quick hug. I closed the door behind him and went to the back door to let Domino use the bathroom. Tyler followed my and leaned against the nearby counter. "I take it you and Zane are fighting again?" Tyler asked. I sighed and moved to sit on the couch. Tyler followed and sat beside me and faced me. I shrugged and sighed heavily. This was a long story to tell.

"I don't know... his dad showed up yesterday with his new wife and shit kind of hit the fan. Zane was pissed... he started drinking last night," I explained. Tyler sat against the couch and ran a hand through his thick blonde hair.

"Shit," he breathed. "Are you okay?" he asked immediately after. I shrugged.

"He's not talking to me," I said. Tyler sighed and held my hand in his gently.

"He'll come around... just give him a little time," Tyler suggested. it was only the second time, but I was already tired of hearing that. I sighed and shook my head.

"Can we talk about something else, please? This subject is wearing me out," I asked. Tyler chuckled before he nodded.

"You had an ultrasound yesterday, right?" he asked. A smile made it's way to my face as I nodded. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the images from the fridge before I sat back on the couch and showed Tyler. He looked at them and smiled.

"This is so cool! There's a little person in there," he chuckled as his hand went to my stomach. I chuckled and watched as his hand touched various parts of my stomach gently.

"It's so weird... we find out the gender in four weeks... Well, maybe, if the baby is in the right position," I said. His hand rubbed over my stomach gently before he pulled it away altogether.

"Are you scared at all? I heard giving birth literally splits you down the middle... you know, down there," Tyler asked curiously. I chuckled as my own hands covered my stomach. My belly wasn't huge or anything, yet. Fehtra told me that once I hit my third trimester, I would blow up like a balloon.

"I try not to think about it too much. Fehtra has been educating me on the whole... process. If I thin about it too much, I'm going to freak out, so for now, I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it," I explained.

"What about the rest of it? Have you thought about where you and the baby will live? Are you staying with your sister or moving in with Zane? Have you started a baby fund for all the stuff the baby will need, like diapers and clothes and stuff? Have you set aside a baby room? Do you want to breastfeed or do formula? If you do formula, that's more money that'll have to be put in the baby fund. Have you started a registry or thought about having a baby shower? What about Zane? Do you know if he'll still go to college while you stay home or vise versa? Is he even going to stay in Reno? Do you want to go to college? Who's going to get a job? Are you even planning on keeping the baby?" Tyler said, shooting off question after question. I knew he meant well but his questions made me feel small and stupid because I didn't know the answers to any of those questions. I was so unprepared.

"No... I-I don't know," I said, worried. Tyler squeezed my hand in his again gently.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I didn't mean to make you upset. I'll help you plan if you want. My mom put me in charge of my baby sister's arrival last year. I did the baby shower and everything, so consider me an expert," he winked. I laughed and pushed his shoulder playfully.

"You're a dork... but thanks," I said sincerely with a small smile.

"You're welcome," he smiled. We turned on a movie and accompanied it with popcorn and light conversation. It was just the distraction I needed.

"Aria will probably murder you if she hears that you want to plan my baby shower," I warned him. He chuckled and popped another piece of buttery popcorn in his mouth.

"I'll tell her my plan and we'll do it together... Problem solved," he shrugged easily.

"She's going to want to make it way bigger than it needs to be," I reminded him.

"The bigger the shower, the more gifts, the less you have to pay for later," he countered. He paused and looked at me as his smile turned gentle. "So you want to keep the baby?" he asked. I hesitated before I nodded unsurely.

"When it comes time to give birth to this baby, I don't think I'll have the heart or strength to hand him or her to be raised by someone else. regardless of the shitty circumstances, this is my child... and ready or not, I'm going to be a mom," I tried to explain.

"And you're going to be a great mom," he said encouragingly. I smiled at him gratefully. I needed to hear that, whether I realized it before or not. He reached up with his hand and brushed a loose strand of hair from my face.

"Dria!" I heard my sister yell through the house after she walked in. I jumped away from Tyler and took my hand out of his. A second later, she came into the living room. "Dri-oh, hello Tyler... Dria, your school called mom and said you weren't there today. What happened? I don't even remember you coming in last night," she said. I sighed, not really wanting to go back to the one subject that was still irking me.

"I stayed over Zane's house. It's a long story and I really don't feel like explaining it again," I explained vaguely.

"Okay," Fehtra said slowly. "Well, I'll be in the kitchen to start on dinner. Tyler, you're welcome to join us," she said before she left. I loved Fehtra; I really did. I needed to stop trying to do this on my own and let her help me. Lord knows I needed it.