The Secret I Tried to Keep

Chapter 52

I normally had lunch in the cafeteria, but today, I went to the abandoned music room. I had to talk to Zane before I told Tyler my answer. I asked Zane to meet me and he agreed. I sat at the piano as I waited.

"Just like old times, huh Dria?" Zane said as he walked into the room. I turned and looked at him before I sighed.

"Not really. So much has changed since then, Zane," I said as I stood. Zane's hands went to my stomach as he came closer.

"She's definitely gotten bigger," he noted. I smiled softly at my stomach before I remembered what I needed to tell him.

"How do you feel about me, Zane?" I asked. He looked confused.

"What do you mean?" he asked as he dropped his hands from my stomach. I nodded in understanding. It was a very vague question, I expected him to ask that.

"Take a seat, please," I asked. He did so as he waited quietly. I sat across from him on a different chair. "How do you feel about me? I know you love our daughter, and I know what you said before, but right now, how do I make you feel?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't know. You frustrate the hell out of me, but you're the mother of my kid and I love you," he answered.

"But do you only love me because of our daughter?" I asked. He shook his head slowly.

"Why are you asking this?" he asked. I sighed in frustration.

"What did you think when you first saw me?" I asked.

"Our sophomore year, or at the party?" he asked.

"Both," I clarified. He thought for a moment before he took a breath.

"I first saw you sophomore year when we had back-to-school orientation. I thought you were nerdy, but cute," he said.

"But you didn't talk to me?"

"My goals were very... pointed then, and I knew you wouldn't go for it," he explained vaguely.

"You wanted to have sex with me?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Not really. I just wanted to have sex," he clarified. "At the party, I thought you were... incredible. You were so beautiful and feisty, and then you came on to me, so I wasn't sure what to expect but I was too preoccupied to care. But after, I felt terrible when I realized that... it was your first time," he explained.

"But how did you feel about me?" I asked again.

"I was confused... because you made me feel something at all. I cared about you," he answered. I didn't miss his use of past tense.

"Would you have kept talking to me after, if I never got pregnant?" I asked. He hesitated.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "At first I was just checking with you because of... you know, but then I saw you were getting sick, and it reminded me of when my... mom was sick which is when I really started tuning in to you. So I guess the answer would be no. If you'd never been sick, I would have made sure you were alright and then moved on," he answered in realization. I sighed and let that sick in. If I didn't get pregnant, our paths would have only crossed once. He would have never been my first boyfriend otherwise. Love didn't bring us together, our baby did.

"Tyler asked me out on a date... as his girlfriend," I said softly. Zane rolled his eyes.

"Of course he did," Zane muttered.

"I'm going to say yes," I continued as I looked at my hands. He froze a moment.

"You're kidding, right?" he deadpanned. I shook my head.

"He makes me happy, Zane, and I'm tired of tiptoeing around you to keep from hurting your feelings. I want to do what makes me happy... for me," I tried to explain.

"No," Zane said as he stood and turned to leave. I glared at his back as I stood too.

"I wasn't asking you! I was letting you know first as a courtesy! I'm doing something for me for once. Everything has always been about you, but not anymore," I yelled at him. He stopped and turned to look at me. I could see the words rolling through his head, but he closed his eyes for a moment as he took a breath.

"Fine," he said before he left. I released my own breath and tried to stop my hands from shaking. Zane sure knew how to pull the anger out of me. I grunted before I paced to calm down. When I was calm again, lunch was over. I went to my locker and saw Tyler there and Zane lingering nearby but far enough away to not make contact. Aria was also waiting for me there. Aria and Tyler were talking with each other when I cut in to face Tyler.

"Yes," I said confidently. He looked at me confused. I sighed and smiled. "Yes, I will go out with you," I clarified. Tyler smiled and pulled me into a gentle hug.

"You won't regret it," he promised as my arms went around his neck. I caught Zane's eyes right before he turned and left angrily.

"I know I won't," I said, as I watched Zane walk away. Pulling away, I was pulled right into another hug from Aria as she squealed.

"Yay! I totally ship Dryler over Drane," she said. I chuckled and shook my head at her before turning back to Tyler.

"I want to take it slow, though," I said. He nodded in understanding.

"Of course," he agreed. "Friday night, at 7?" he asked. I mentally checked my schedule to see if anything conflicted.

"She's free," Aria cut in. It was true but I still gave her a confused look. She rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Oh please. You're schedule is in my calendar. I know you're free, bitch," Aria said playfully. I chuckled and shrugged.

"I guess I'm free," I said to Tyler. He chuckled.

"Good," he said. I raised an eyebrow at him in challenge.

"You already have something planned?" I asked. He shrugged with a smirk.

"A few things crossed my mind," he admitted. Aria squealed again.

"Yay! This is going to be perfect," Aria smiled as her hands clasped together and she swayed. I laughed at her. Aria was a hopeless romantic under the punchy, hard-ass exterior. She glared at me. "I will live vicariously through this relationship since I've sworn off all boys," Aria said. She'd done that lately. She got asked out by quite a few guys since the whole Cooper incident, but she said she was going on a guy-cleanse.

"Does that leave girls open for discussion?" I said, messing with her as I wiggled my eyebrows. She draped her arms over my shoulders and kissed my cheek.

"You know it, babe," she said with a smirk as she played along. We couldn't keep it up as we burst out laughing. Tyler chuckled as he shook his head at us. The bell rang, and people scattered.

"I'll see you later, Dria," Tyler said as he kissed my cheek. He walked in one direction while Aria and I walked the other way to our next class.