Broken

Ashes

I watched you carefully
the day you set us both on fire.
The people that we tried to become
Turned in to ashes as the flames got tired.
My innocence meant nothing to the mind of denial.
I tried so hard to win your approval.
The truth is I was never going to be good enough at all.
You always had a talent for making me feel so worthless.
Blaming my issues on everyone else so you didn't have to feel hurt.
My scars may be faded on the outside,
But under my skin those wounds will never be healed again.
I tried to forgive you.
I thought I could get over it all.
But there's just some things you can never come back from.
You can never move on.
My mind is permanently damaged inside.
I'm mentally unstable
And you're still in denial.
You're the source of every thing that's wrong with me.
I'll never understand how you can still refuse to see.
My memory is my worst enemy
And that's because of you.
I remember every detail of every knife you used.
You cut my heart out with your words
Looking back now, it still hurts.
I was never meant to be the daughter you deserved.
You looked right through my innocence and pulled me with you as we both fell to the dirt.
My fragile mind got lost somewhere along the way.
Suddenly the darkness I inherited sent it's demons out to play.
Taunting me as I'd cry every night wondering what i did to deserve this kind of life.
I still hold on to every tear that I shed.
I still remember the relief of each cut as it bled.
You're toxic around me.
In your presence I can't breathe.
I'll never get better until your shadow fading is all I see.
You can pretend that you've changed if it helps you sleep at night.
Lie about everything if that's what makes you feel alright.
But your apology means nothing to me.
It's not a mistake if it's always on repeat.
I'll lie in these ashes of the souls you burned alive.
Reminding myself that i'm better off without your disguise.