Broken

Torn

I can pretend that i'm okay and put a smile on my lips.

But underneath my laughter,

hiding behind all of it,

I'm torn apart and terrified that this time I can't be fixed.

I'm sorry that I couldn't save you from the destruction in your head.

The pain was just getting too much stronger every night that I laid alone in that bed.

I blamed myself for so long that I became numb to your manipulations.

I felt myself breaking into the shell of what became your fixation.

You ruined me inside and I fear that now I'll never love you the same.

For too many years I've listened to your lies but ignored the pain.

I could've walked away from the beginning,

I knew that this love could end me.

I took a risk hoping you could save me.

It didn't take long for my heart to cave in from the pain you gave me.

Trust was never something that existed, from the start.

That should've been a clue that you'd never stop torturing my heart.

I gave you every piece of my vulnerable soul,

never expecting you turn it so cold.

Now I don't know how to act around you and it scares me.

You're never gonna be the person I fell in love with ever again.

I haven't seen any emotion in eyes since the day you stopped letting me in.

You've changed in so many ways and none of them are any good.

I don't think I even remember how to love after everything you took.

Somewhere along the way I realized that I was the only one fighting for us.

Yet, you still didn't notice that I refused to give this up.

You don't get to say sorry when we can both tell that you don't mean it.

You don't get to compare our stories when they're both extremely different.

I said that I would fight for us and never let us lose our love.

But exhaustion got the best me and suddenly I wasn't strong enough.

I'm scared that now you can't come back to me,

and this is not where I ever wanted to be.

I don't wanna give up now,

but you're never gonna change your ways,

you don't know how.

So for now I'm gonna keep faking it,

Please don't make anymore promises.

When we both know you'll only end up breaking it.