Broken

Betrayal

I put this smile on my face
As I told you that I'm okay.
I swear In that moment I thought I would be fine.
I thought I could erase the pain so I wouldn't have to cry.
I spent 2 years gasping for air
From the lungs of a life that was no longer there.
I can still taste those tears.
Part of me knows they'll always be there.
I tried to put you back together.
I refused to give up on the promise that I'd love you forever.
You told me that it was in the past and things are different now.
But the past is coming back to haunt me and you've made it obvious that you know that now.
I never thought it could ever come to this.
I still can't fathom how I actually missed it.
Now you've got me crying more tears than my eyes can make.
I loved you too much to let it turn into hate.
Look at what you did to me.
You never even noticed how hard it was for me to breathe.
You never asked any questions when I started losing too much weight.
You turned me in to someone that I had to create.
I begged you to love me again
And you laughed in my face.
I'll never forget your voice that day.
Every time I look in the mirror it all just replays.
I know I told you that I'm okay.
But deep down there's a part of me that only understands how to hate.
Maybe I'll block it out one day.
Maybe I'll get over feeling betrayed.
But right now all I can give you is what you want me to say.
So don't worry, my love
"I'm okay."