seventy

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Shawn was napping in the room when I got back from the florist. He looked so at peace and looked cozy. The duvet was over his lower body and he had one of my soft blankets over his upper body and up to his neck. His hair was a bit curly and tousled and his lips were parted in the slightest where soft baby snores escaped.

I set the bag of flowers down on the floor by the bed and picked up the Polaroid from the floor. There were two strips of film left. I walk over to Shawn's side of the bed and got down and snapped the photograph of him. The flash and the noise caused him to open his eyes.

"Sorry," I say, "I didn't mean to wake you." I place the camera on the bed post.

He licks his dry lips and closes his eyes again. "Come here."

I kick my wet and dirty boots off my feet and they fall to the floor with a thud. Shawn lifts his arm and the cover up and he shuffles back into the bed to make space for me. I take off my coat and toss it to the floor and climb into the bed with Shawn. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him. My face comes in contact with his chest and I close my eyes.

He feels warm and he feels safe. Being in his arms made me realize that this was our last week together before things change us. He goes on to fight, I go off to college. He wins, he leaves to Vegas. He loses, he leaves to Canada. No matter how many times Shawn would tell me "We'll make it work," something deep down told me it wouldn't work.

"Shawn?" I say.
"Hm?" He replies.

"I...nothing," I say. "Never mind."
"What?" He asks me.

"I just, I, never mind."
"Jasmine, what is it?"

"What's gonna happen to us when you win?" I ask him. Shawn moves his body so that we're now face to face.

"What're you talking about? Nothing's gonna happen to us." He tells me.

"How are you so sure? I mean, you're either going away to a state or to another country. And I'm going away to college."

"Nothing is going to happen," he says again. "Trust me. I'm not going to let anything happen." He leans down and gives me a reassuring kiss on my forehead.

I rest my head against his chest as he holds me tighter, his hand rubbing up and down my back. "Nothing's gonna happen," he repeats again.

I close my eyes and fall asleep to the sound of his heart beating and his soft breathing. I nap with Shawn for about an hour before my phone vibrates in my back pocket, waking me up. Carefully I slip out of bed as so not to disturb his slumber and head out the bedroom and into the bathroom to take the phone call.

"Hello?" My voice is groggy.

"Jasmine, hey! Wait, were you asleep?" Paige asks me.

"Yeah. But I needed to wake up. What's up?"

"Okay, don't freak out."

"What did you and Jack do to the house?"

"What? Nothing."

"Nothing yet," I joke.

"Ha ha, asshole." Paige says.

"Sorry, couldn't help it. What is it?"

"There's a package here for you."

"A package? How big is it?" I sit down on the edge of the bathtub and listen to Paige.

"About a good length. Kinda in a box shape, maybe a bit long."

"Where's it from?"

"It's from a University." Paige tells me. My heart slowly sinks and I don't even know why.

"Who's it from?" I ask.

"It's from Northwestern," she says. "Jasmine, you got in."

I'm speechless. To be honest, I thought that the essay I wrote sucked. I thought that no board of administration would want to hear about that. Maybe they enjoyed it, maybe it was my grades. Who knows. The point is that I got in. I got accepted.

"Jasmine? Hello? You still there?" Paige asks me. I can hear Jack's voice in the background. "Jack says if you can bring him a tee shirt or either one of those lighters in the shape of a lighthouse."

"I," I croak. "Uh huh. Yeah tell Jack I said sure."

"Are you okay? You sound funny."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can you do me a favor and just put it in my bedroom? And don't forget to feed Sebastian. I gotta go." I hang up the phone before Paige can even reply.

For a moment I just sit there. I stare at my phone in my hands and can feel my mind go empty. There's no thought. No reaction. I was shooting blanks. Holy cow. I got in.

I get up from sitting and walk out the bathroom and back to the bedroom. Shawn still lies in the bed but I can see him looking at me. I close the door and set my phone down on the mirror dresser. He pulls the covers back and I climb back into bed with him.

"What's wrong?" Shawn asks me. His voice isn't tired or groggy like mine was.

"I... Are you sure that nothing is going to happen to us?" I ask.

"Why do you think that? Do you want something to happen to us?" He replies.

"I'm just scared for us."

"You shouldn't be because nothing is gonna happen to us. I promise you that." He kisses my lips. "I have something for you."

Shawn gets out of the bed and heads for his suitcase. I sit up and watch him take out something from a small pouch before he hides it inside his fist. He gets up and walks back to his side of the bed.

"I wanted to give you this after the fight. To actually promise you that nothing would happen between us," Shawn says. He opens his hand and reveals a ring. "Don't worry, it's not that kind of ring."

"What is it?" I ask him.

"So cheesy, but, it's a promise ring." A big smile forms on my face and I burst into small fits of laughter. "Shut up," he groans, but it only makes me laugh harder. I fall back in the bed and continue to laugh until I snort.

"Did you just snort?!" Shawn asks. I nod and he laughs at me. "Aw, my little ballerina piggy."

"I don't even want the ring anymore," I say. I sit up against the bed and look straight while crossing my arms under my chest.

"Good, cause this ring was actually gonna go to your mom." He replies. I look at him from the side and then look away. "Alright, I'm kidding."

"Where'd you get it anyways?" I ask him.
"I bought it the day after I took your virginity." He says. "But I've always wanted to give it to you when I brought you to meet my family."

I tuck my hair behind my ear and look at the ring in his hand; a silver princess tiara ring from Pandora . "So if you take it, know that I'm promising you that nothing is going to change between us after the fight."

"You promise?" I ask him.

Shawn nods. "I promise."

I take the ring and put it on my finger. Shawn places his hand on my cheek and leans in. His lips are warm against my cold lips. I kiss him back and he crawls on top of me, bringing the covers back over my body. The bed squeaks and I smile into the kiss.

"Promise me later, alright?" I joke.

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Shawn's photo shoot with Italian Vogue like wow! MY MAN did that! MY GRINGO PAPI DID THAT I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT LIKE HE FUCKING DID THAT LIKE WOW LIKE WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!! A MAN!! MY DADDY DID THAT!!

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