[this is going to be a lengthy chapter, also I have a list of songs to listen to that are specifically for this chapter.]
"Bad Blood" by Bastille
"A Little Death" by the Neighbourhood
"Friends" by Chase Atlantic
"High for This" by the Weeknd
"Hotblack" by Oceanship
"Afraid" by the Neighbourhood
- shawn -
The jet lands and after five minutes, I exit the plane and get into the cab that was waiting for me. My phone rang and I quickly answered the call from Jack. For the first time in my life, a wave of nerves ran through me.
"Hey, I just landed." I sat through the line.
"Good. I'm waiting at the house for you with Paige and a few of the crew," Jack replies.
"I should be there in fifteen minutes."
"Perfect. Listen, Shawn, this fucker has been training since day one and I'm not sure if you took some time off while you were in the Hamptons. But just remember, this guy is not holding back. So I need you to give it all that you've got."
"I will."
"I mean it. This is the fight. Everyone here knows of the bad blood between you two."
"Jack, we got this. I'm sure that we do. Matter of fact, I'm fucking positive that we do."
"That's what I wanna hear. I'll let you go. See you when you get here."
"You, too."
I hang up and look at my phone. The wallpaper of Jasmine is my focus. It's a picture of her when she was little. She left while I continued to look through the box of photos that one day in the Hamptons. In the photo she was standing in the shallow water with a bright pink swim suit and yellow floaters on her arms. Her curly hair was down to her shoulders as she held a jar of seashells and smiled widely. I unlock my phone and look at the home screen; it's the first picture she ever sent me while we were dating - the racy bra and underwear pictures. A tiny smile forms on my lips as I go through a photo album with photos of her.
There was the biggest pain in my heart knowing that she lied to me. She knew for the longest that she was going to Chicago. She thought we were just going to be a fling, and nothing serious. She never told me about her conversations with Jonah. She was in some other state with worry on her mind while I was here, ready to fight. If I win, I leave to Vegas to begin training. If I lost, I leave to Canada to practice law. Jasmine had every right to be nervous. Our relationship was basically over. How can she be calm knowing that I'm in a different state and fighting the biggest and bloodiest fight?
I lock my phone and place it in my pocket and bounce my knee up and down. The nerves were running through me like nothing before. Jasmine kept flashing through my mind, and no matter how hard I squinted my eyes shut, she just wouldn't leave my mind. For some odd reason I felt like crying. I had that feeling in my throat. God, I shouldn't have forced her to stay. I shouldn't have been such a fucking asshole to her today. I knew she felt extremely terrible about lying to me, but on this day, I shouldn't have been the biggest dick to her. God, Shawn! You're so fucking stupid!
I take my phone back out and unlock it. My thumbs start to tap along the screen as I begin to form a text message to Jasmine.
To: Jasmine
- I'm sorry. I was such an asshole to you today when I know that I shouldn't have. I'm sitting in this cab with guilt washing through me and you keep coming into my mind, baby. Jasmine, I'm so fucking sorry. I really am. You know that I am deeply and madly in love with you. I want you to know that everything is going to work out and be just fine. I'll train in Chicago if I can. Jasmine, I shouldn't have forced you to stay. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have left you at the wedding with worry running through you. I'm sorry for yelling at you like that and I'm so fucking sorry that you thought I would hit you again. I hate myself for instilling that type of fear in you. Jasmine Elle Callaghan. I am the biggest fucking fool for you on this damn earth. I am, I really am. I love you. I love you. I love you. I don't deserve you, but you still love me. I love you so much, Jasmine. I love you. I'll be safe, I promise.
