Neon Fire {dl}

Chapter 7

~Leah

When we reached the canteen I still had a massive grin plastered on my face. I grabbed my plate of food and glanced at Demi who blushed, biting her lip, and looked away before walking towards our small table. I followed suit, admiring the way her clothes hugged her amazing figure.

My feeling of happiness was soon shattered as I eyed up my plate; eggs and toast. There was a lot of food on the plate and the smell wafted up to my nostrils, almost making me gag. The buzzing in my fingertips started again as I thought of all the calories that were awaiting me.

"Small baby steps, that's all it takes."

I looked up and saw Demi looking at me with a concerned expression on her face. I nodded, feeling myself break out into a cold sweat. I picked up my fork with a shaking hand and gripped it tightly. The nurse had followed us over just like the last time and was carefully watching my every move.

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes for a second, pacing myself. I speared a piece of the egg and after a brief moment of hesitation put it in my mouth, chewing slowly. I couldn't remember the last time I had eggs and toast and I almost enjoyed the taste. Almost.

I looked up at Demi and gave her a half smile which she returned gladly. She leaned across the table and kissed me.

"I thought we had a deal with every two mouthfuls?" I teased, trying to take my mind off the food in my stomach. She grinned, turning slightly pink.

"I got an urge, what can I say?" She replied devilishly, taking a bite of her own toast.

I managed to clear my plate fairly quickly with Demi's "encouragement" and we left the canteen, our pinky fingers interlocked. As we were walking down the corridor, Lauren appeared in a doorway.

"Leah, can I speak to you for a moment? In private?" She added, looking at Demi. I gulped and turned to Demi.

"I'll meet you back at our room, ok?" She looked at Lauren before looking back at me worriedly and nodded.

"Sure, see you in a bit." She squeezed my hand encouragingly and headed down the corridor as I followed Lauren into the room she had come out of. It was a small office with a pretty dingy paint job and two hard-backed chairs facing a battered looking desk. I sat down on one of the chairs as Lauren perched herself on the edge of the desk.

"I know we got off to a fairly rough start," she began, making me shift uncomfortably. I grimaced at the memories of trying to throw away my tin of razors.

She continued. "But I want to let you know that I'm still confident you can do this. In all my years here at the Knolls, I've seen people who thought they were irreparably broken and damaged, blossom into a whole new person. Your reaction to throwing away your razors isn't uncommon Leah."

She stopped and smiled at me reassuringly, which seemed to fill me with a little bit of hope.

"I want to feel normal again." I whispered and she nodded sympathetically.

"I knew you do. But I have to warn you, becoming better doesn't necessarily mean you'll be the person you used to be. You'll probably find that trying to return to your old self is impossible, too much has happened to you. But you can become a stronger person. Someone who has faced their demons and drowned them completely. I'm confident you can do that. And I think you know you can do it too, somewhere deep inside."

She picked a file up from her desk and opened it, pulling out a page and handing it to me.

"This is your group therapy timetable. You'll have to attend three sessions a week and we'll monitor your progress there as well as places such as the canteen."