Levels [boyxboy]

Levels -/- Chapter 17 (explanation)

(Alex's POV)

*knock Knock* Chase knocks on my door. "Alex! Open the door" he says getting annoyed. "Why do you want in so bad. Just leave!" I yell back so he can hear me. I am in my room, I just took a shower so my hair is wet and I'm laying in my bed. I did have blood on my hands and a little on my face, and did just feel dirty. I don't know what got into me, I don't know why I punched Mason. Twice.
The only pro to doing that is I learned I can punch really hard. Anyways, I was really tired and wanted to be left alone. Then of course Trae calls. I answer, "Alex! I heard you and Jesse are on a break! We need to go out, I'm on my way over, see you in like 5. Get dressed" Trae says really quickly before hanging up.
      Since me and Jesse started dating, Trae hasn't been around very much. I don't really know why, I would love to hang out with him more. He is my best friend. I was far from dressed. I wasn't even fully clothed, so I changed into a cut shirt that is cut low down the sides and is very loose. I throw on some skinny jeans and a black hat with a rainbow on it. Jesse got it for me, he has one too. It was probably my favorite hat out of the ones I have.
      Trae walks in just letting him self in. Ya know, didn't bother to knock. But what ever. He stops and looks at me. "Okay, you look great" he says smiling. "Thanks?...." I am really confused. "What does it matter?" I ask Trae. "We are going to a party, so you need to look decently hot."
      "Okay. Who's party is it?"
      "You know, I'm not completely sure. But I know that you and Jesse were invited. And if you are going then I'm going with you." Trae says really quickly.
      "Oh my....! What did you drink or eat before you came over here?" I ask him laughing.
       "Why were me and Jesse invited?"
       "I'm not really sure. The guy throwing it just said he wanted you there." Trae states.
        "So then Jesse is going too? Is that a good idea?"
         "What? Shut up, you love him. Stop being a dramatic but hole" Trae says.
       I chuckle, "Okay, whatever."
"Let's go!" He says loudly walking out of my room. I follow and we get into his car. I text Chase and tell him I'm going to hang with Trae and that I won't be home for awhile. He calls me a jerk and says he doesn't care.

...

       Soon we show up at this party, the house was packed. The house was away from everyone and they had like no neighbors. I still don't know who was throwing the party. "Who's house is this?" I ask getting out of Trae's car. "I don't know. It's a newly built house though. They just moved in recently I guess" Trae says outing his arm around my shoulder as we walk. "You ready to party and maybe have some fun with girls.... or guys. Depends on how your feeling" Trae says excited. I chuckle, "I don't feel like doing anything with either. I'm not single Trae, me and Jesse are just spending some time apart. So he can figure thing out. Plus, he is probably here, if he was invited he will come." I tell Trae. "There is nothing wrong with having a little fun. Your young, you don't even really know what Love is. How do you know you even really love Jesse. You two haven't even said you love each other yet" Trae says trying to persuade me. "Trae, I love Jesse, yeah I'm young but I don't care." I say to Trae with a little laugh. Me and Jesse said that we loved each other. It was recently too."
     "Shit. Well still, just have fun. Tonight is one free night. Do what you want" Trae says before walking into the house without me. I walk into the house, and just like ever other party I have went too — people were drinking.
       And I decided that I'm going to have a drink too.
      I walk to the kitchen of the house to try and find a drink. I see the bottles sitting on the kitchen counter and decide on a beer. I walk over to the box and start to get one out. I get the beer, then feel someone's hands on the side on my body. They move around me and into my shirt and the persons hands are rubbing my chest. I turn around quickly, "What the hell?". When I turn around I see this girl with a very slutty outfit on. She was obviously drunk, she couldn't walk strait and she smelled of alcohol. "Aw, don't worry. I won't hurt you." She makes a fake sad face. She leans into me and lifts up my shirt, like she was trying to pull it off. "No! stop" I tell her backing away. "Ugh. Your probably a virgin right?" She puts her hands on her hips and looks at me. I smile, "no actually. Just not interested in you, or any girls for that matter" I pop the cap off of the beer bottle. "Oh. You must be hat gay guy right. They one with the boyfriend in the comma?" She asks. "Yeah..... I guess" I say hesitant. "Okay, Wait here" She says turning around and walking out of the kitchen.
      I have no clue what that was about. I'm just glad she got off of me. I take a big drink of the beer then put it down on the counter. I didn't want to get drunk, Trae was probably going to, and we needed to get one somehow. I shouldn't have even got he beer. I'm not going to drink it after all. Only about a minute passes then this boy walk in. He is slightly taller than me, has light blond hair. It was pretty much platinum. He had these beautiful blue eyes and had a really charming face. He walks over to me. "Glad you could come!" He says happily. "I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are..." I tell him. "I didn't think you would. I'm one of your brothers old friends. We were friends the summer before we became soft-mores. I'm Drake" he hold out his hand. "Oh yeah! I do remember you. Whenever you were around I wasn't aloud near you guys" I laugh and shake his hand. "Yeah. Sorry" he says. "Don't apologize, I was annoying and younger." I say. "No that wasn't he reason. Your brother didn't want me around you" he tells me. I stand up strait and tilt my head the littlest amount. "Why didn't he want you around me?" I ask now really curious. He smiles then laughs a little, "because I was gay. Am gay" he corrects himself. "Wait. Your says chase didn't want you around me because you are gay? Why?" I ask wanting answers now.
      "It was because I liked you. Your brother didn't want you to get involved with an older guy and didn't want you involved with me, not in that way." Drake says. "Why the hell? Why is getting involved with you a bad thing?" I ask. "Well first of all, I'm not the greatest example of good behavior. And you were 14. Your brother didn't want you to date a guy if you weren't ready to." Drake tells me. It makes sense, but one thing stood out to me. "Wait. If I wasn't ready. Have thought I was gay?" I ask him, "did you?."
        "Your brother had his suspicions. He wasn't ever really sure, so he didn't ask or even ever bring it up. He is a good brother Alex. He's protective" Drake takes a drink of his drink. 
         "And now. I know for sure that your gay." Drake has a big smile and moves closer. I stare into his eyes and he stares into mine. "Umm" I say before he stops me talking by kissing me. I back away quickly and accidentally trip and fall to the ground. I get up quickly and walk out of the kitchen. I grab the beer on my way out and am walking fast through the crowd of people trying to find Trae.
         I didn't find Trae, but I found someone else. Or they found me....
        "Alex. I need to talk to you" a hand grabs mine. I knew exactly who it was when they grabbed my hand. Jesse.
        "Jesse?..." I turn around to look at him. He smiles then leads us out of the crowd and upstairs to an empty bedroom. I sit down on the bed with my legs crossed. He closes the door then sits down in front of me. It kinda seemed like he was going to break up with me.
         "I have some thing to tell you. So I'm telling you everything. Everything that has happened in my past, what I'm feeling now, what I felt in the coma. I'm coming completely clean. I trust you with my life, so I trust you enough to shares thing I don't tell anyone." Jesse says to me.
      "Jesse you don't have to. Some things are better kept as secrets. I just want to put it behind us and move forward please." I beg.
       "We can move forward. But I want to tell you this first." He says. I nod my head and let him says was he is going. To say. At least now I know he isn't going to end it for good. I hope...
        "I'll start from the beginning. When I was 14 I came out to my parents. I was with my first boyfriend and was really happy to tell them. My mom was super proud that I could tell them. But my dad wasn't. He didn't like that I was gay and told me that he could and would fix me. I told him he couldn't, that I want going to change and that I just want him to except that. He didn't expect it. He started to abuse me, sometimes to the point I would want to get up and was bleeding pretty bad. My mom would stand up for me, but then he would hurt her. Finally one day, me and my mom had enough of it. And tried to leave while my dad was at work. My mom left to go get some cash from our bank and my dad came home early. He saw me packing and wasn't happy. He hit me to the ground and was telling about how I need to respect him and how I don't have the right to leave. How he is my father and I have to stay with him till I was 18. I argued with him, standing up for me and my mom. Then he decided to do something that was beyond the line." Jesse looks down to his lap and his voice stats to quiver. "Jesse, you don't have to say anything else." I hug Jesse and rub his back softly. He does r says anything more. I can feel his tears deep into what's left of my shirt sleeve. "He raped me..." Jesse says really quietly. I sit up and look at Jesse "oh my god, Jesse." I say before hugging him even tighter. "Thank you" Jesse says still crying a little. "For what?" I ask him in a soft voice. "For listening and caring" he says quietly calming down. "You can tell me anything, good or bad it doesn't matter. I'll listen." I say. Jesse sits up and wipes his eyes, "then when my mom came home I was unconscious. Then when I woke up we weren't in California anymore. I've been as strong as I could the past few years. I haven't let him effect my trust issues. But there are a few places that are..."
     "But, when my memory of him came back it sucked. The 4 months we had together was amazing. All I remembered was what I wanted too. And now about Mason." Jesse says. "Oh um. Hopefully he won't be around for to long..." I tell Jesse. I want going to tell anyone what happened, but jesse just told me about his dad so I guess I should just tell him. But he starts talking before I do. "You definitely did some damage. And it was f*cking impressive you could do that much damage." Jesse smiles and laughs. "Yeah, well I was upset" I say defending myself. "Well. I'm sure you have heard enough about Mason, I need to tell you something. You need to stay away from Mason. He is good looking and looks nice on the outside, but he isn't a different person on the inside. He is obsessive and doesn't give up" Jesse says. "Yeah. I could tell" I role my eyes annoyed by the memory of his face. "I broke up with him because he started to get weird. Not a good type of weird, it was scary and I felt the best thing was to leave before things get weirder." Jesse says. I smile at Jesse. "I'll stay away from him, but I have one question." I say nervous to ask it, since it was a pretty sensitive topic for Jesse. "Is your dad dead?" I ask him.