I was running to his room, almost tripping over my feet. There were loud noises coming from his room, crashes and unhealthy slamming.
"Zuko!" I yelled, bring my fist down on the door. "What are you doing in there?"
"Just go away!" he yelled back. "You always have to make things worse than they already are!"
I tried not to be offended. "Zuzu, please open the door. Are you hurt?"He didn't reply, and the slamming had ceased. A few guards approached me but I waved them away. "Not now please. I can handle this."
They protested slightly, but I glared and then they were gone.
"Zuko," I repeated, "Please let me talk to you."
And then as if to break the silence, something shattered. my heart pumping, I stepped back, and with one fiery kick, the door burst open. Zuko was sitting down at the edge of his bed, his head down. As I looked around the room, a gasp slipped from my lips.
Everything was destroyed. Pictures were burning, the mirror was broken, the table were tossed around and he even used their legs for firewood to keep the fires running.
"Oh, Zuko," I whispered, "Why?"
"Get out."
"Stop being so unbelievably rude and tell me what happened so I can help."
"You can't." He ran his hands through his hair. "No one can."
"You don't know that," I said softly, taking steps toward him. I still couldn't see his face. As I reached out to touch him, he yanked himself away.
"Why would you do that?" he asked, and I was broken to hear a tremor in his voice.
"Do what?" I asked, taking a step back.
"Touch me. You never wanted to before, so why now?"
I was silent. I took in my surroundings once more only to see papers scattered around Zuko.
"Zuko what are these?"
I reached out, and suddenly he pushed my hand away. "Don't." And then he looked up into my eyes for the first time since I'd come into his room, and his eyes were glassy with tears that slipped down his face in front of me. My mouth was open but no words were coming out. "Leave," he repeated, burying his face in his hands.
"I—I can't leave you like this." I lightly touched his back. He stiffened. And then I reached for the papers.
As I read, my stomach started to hurt. There was a pain in my chest and arms and head as I tried to solve this puzzle.
So even the fact that Zuko great grandfather was the Avatar, wouldn't make him act up like that, no matter how shocking the discovery was.
And then my eyes skimmed the paragraph.
My muscles stopped working. The page slipped from my grip. All the pages.
The fire lord, the father Zuko had tried so hard to impress, so hard to make him give his honor back, so hard, so terribly hard, was maybe not the right person after all he needed to impress after all. I heard a large intake of breath and realized that was myself.
Zuko, I am so sorry.
But what could I do? He was right. What could I possibly do to help him now, when his own father wasn't his father?
♋♋♋
Sokka rolled out a map. " My mind is made up."
"What mind?" Toph snickered, and Katara threw her a glare only to realize that she couldn't exactly see it.
" We're attacking today. The day of Black Sun."
"You told us that yesterday." Aang raised his eyebrows.
"But I wasn't sure."
"And we're all ready," Katara put in. "But here's the thing. You know, Ayame is really powerful and she might be waiting for us to get revenge."
They all nodded in agreement to that, but Sokka said, "No firebending, remember? She'll be normal just like us."
That hurt Katara for some reason. Ayame was normal, and she just needed someone to prove it to her. But they'd kicked her out instead. That was a terrible thing to do.
"Let's go," Sokka said, standing up. "Aang, today you kill the Fire Lord."
Aang tensed completely, and Katara felt for him.
♋♋♋
"what are you going to do, Zuko?" I asked. "Confront him?"
"I don't wanna talk about it," he whispered dryly.
"Zuko he's not your father."
"I know!" he yelled, startling me. "I freaking know. God I wish I could—" He grabbed a fistful of his hair. "Azula's my half sister."
"Do you think she knows?"
"I don't know," he snarled. "Stop asking me so many annoying questions."
"But questions help you figure it out. You need—"
He stood up, turning on me. "Don't you dare tell me what I need!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Someone two rooms down could've heard.
"Zu don't yell—" I pleaded, but he wouldn't let me talk.
"Just leave me alone! You know, this changes everything." His chest rose and fell . "Everything. Why am I here? Why are you here? There is nothing left for me." He turned around, punching down the only thing left in tact. A picture painted at the beach of me and him, smiling, arms over each other like nothing could tear us apart. Even Azula was in the back grinning ear to ear and making a silly face, and as the picture crashed to the floor, along with it went my heart.
I could feel the prickling sensation behind my eyes, the burning through the bridge of my nose. And he really never cared once.
He watched it fall to the floor, the glass breaking, the picture burning. It was a picture that you could cling to in the worst times of one big happy family. A hope. And now that hope was destroyed just like Zuko. Just like that family.
For a long time, we stared at the ashes. As the fire slowly died out, he looked at me and I him. And he slumped against the wall, sliding to the floor.
"I think Uncle sent it to me." When I didn't reply, fearing that the tears would start or my voice would choke up, he continued. "It was just outside my room you know. And at first you couldn't see the part where it said . . . " he trailed off, letting the unsaid words hang in the air. "It don't know how he did it. He's in jail. But I know it was him."
I looked away, wiping at my eyes.
"It makes sense, you know? The scar makes sense now. He never really loved me. And I think he knows. That's why he loved Azula more. Loves you more."
It was weird, hearing that from him. How could he love me, Ozai, when he just met me?
"There's something he sees in you," he said, looking up. "Something important. Besides the fact that you can bend doubled elements."
And then I walked out of the room, those words, those two words, doubled elements, ringing in my ears.
